Secret Contents of a Certain Government Warehouse Version 0.1 Compiled by Stirling Westrup At stirling@ozrout.uucp Version 0.2, 1.0 Compiled by Timothy Toner At thanatos@interaccess.com This file attempts to catalog and describe the contents of a particular secret government warehouse. In the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark", this warehouse was the final resting place of the Ark of the Covenant. Likewise, the first episode of the "War of the Worlds" TV series shows that the Martian war machines from the first invasion attempt were also stored in this warehouse. This file is in its preliminary stages still. The first dozen or so entries have been done in more or less the format that I would eventually like the whole list to follow. I haven't had time to do more than a first pass over the rest of the list, but folks are clamoring for a progress report, so I figured I'd post what I've accomplished so far. Anyone who wants to help out by sending details, corrections or new entries should see the section on editorial policy, to make this compiler's life a bit easier. Folks who have already helped with their contributions include: Greg Barnes (greg@cs.washington.edu), Chris Barrus (chrisb@golem.ps.uci.edu), The Beast (beast@maple.circa.ufl.edu), Belgarath the Sorcerer (bank@lea.csc.ncsu.edu), Jeff Berry (nexus@co2.cgd.ucar.edu), Dave Bonar (eebonar@lsuvax.sncc.lsu.edu), Seth Bradley (sbradley@iWarp.intel.com), Matt Brockman (mbrockma@en.ecn.purdue.edu), Jeff Brown (jbrown@u.washington.edu), Stan Brown (brown@NCoast.ORG), Paul Butterworth (pb@uk.ac.hw.cs), Dack A. Carroll (2390carrolld.vms.csd.mu.edu), David R. Conrad (dave@michigan.com), Conty (conty@cbnewsl.cb.att.com), Frank Crary (fcrary@lightning.Berkeley.EDU), Kevin Darling (kdarling@garfield.catt.ncsu.edu), Drew Davidson (davidson@cs.unc.edu), David Dryer (dryer@leland.Stanford.EDU), Andrew Durston (acd@hotld.att.com), Tim Dunn (tdunn@ecst.csuchico.edu), P. Floyd (pfloyd@wpi.WPI.EDU), John Francis (johnf@apollo.hp.com), Serge Gilette (gilette@mimosa.unice.fr), Jeff Graham (graham@cs.utk.edu), Adam Goldberg (goldberg@iastate.edu), Richard Griffith (rjg@doe.carleton.ca), David m Harmon (dmh@world.std.com), Pete Hardie (pete@nyet.UUCP), Deus Imperator (tgt33358@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu), C Irby (cirby@vaxb.acs.unt.edu), Faisal Nameer Jawdat (fj05+@andrew.cmu.edu), Sam Jones (samjones@carina.unm.edu), Richard Kennaway (jrk@sys.uea.ac.uk), Ernest Kim (krazykid@bucsf.BU.EDU!krazykid), William Kucharski (kucharsk@solbourne.com), KUVAMP (kuvamp@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu), Geoff Lane (zzassgl@uts.mcc.ac.uk), Charles Anthony Leone (cl2g+@andrew.cmu.edu), J. L. Martinez (jlm@slacvm.slac.stanford.edu), Travis McCord (mccord@equinox.unr.edu), Elizabeth Mccoy (Elizabeth.Mccoy@bbs.oit.unc.edu), Bryan McDonald (bigmac@erg.sri.com), Thomas Miller (tmiller@prism.gatech.EDU), Morpheus (morpheus@maple.circa.ufl.edu), Jered M. Moses (jmm22@po.CWRU.Edu), Chris Nasipak (v116r8ac@ubvmsb.cc.buffalo.edu), Cameron Newham (cam@iinet.com.au) Lance Neustaeter (lance@cynic.wimsey.bc.ca), Brennan "CrayDeath" O'Keefe (bmo1@Isis.MsState.Edu), Mitchell Patterson (patterso@cs.scarolina.edu), Benjamin R Pierce (v124jw4y@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu), Randy M. Roberts (rmr@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu), Bruce Rodean (rodean@hpfcdc.fc.hp.com), Jonathan Sari (surge@milton.u.washington.edu), William Geoffrey Shotts (ws1r+@andrew.cmu.edu), Larry Smith (smith@ctron.com), Stephen P Spackman (stephen@tira.uchicago.edu), Graham Toal (gtoal@gem.stack.urc.tue.nl), Lance Visser (visser@convex.com), Tor Iver Wilhelmsen (toriver@lise1.lise.unit.no), Steven Markus Woodcock (swoodcoc@isis.cs.du.edu), Brent L. Woods (woodsb@helios.ecn.purdue.edu), John ??? (jxy108@psuvm.psu.edu) Timothy Toner (thanatos@interaccess.com) Kevin Lowe Arnoud-Erik de Bruijn" will1am@aztec.inre.asu.edu (WILLIAM FRIERSON) From: clayman@husc.harvard.edu (Jeffrey Clayman) John T Oleary peter@TFS.COM (Peter Bonney) Phil Anderson" Bob Schroeck davidw@taipan.nmsu.edu LordRoland@aol.com kmwilcox@iastate.edu Michael Clark "David J. Parker" Donald Hill carl@cueball.demon.co.uk (Carl Moss) cam@iinet.com.au (Cameron Newham) Carrie A Schutrick ERL101_at_mets.erl@cc2smtp.emr.ca Leif Roar Moldskred Siepiau Pang arromdee@blaze.cs.jhu.edu (Ken Arromdee) kilpatds@craft.camp.clarkson.edu (Hawke) Chris Davies "Robert A. Jung" wdstarr@crl.com (William December Starr) BARTZ@emuvax.emich.edu Panu K J Alku Greg Carey "R. Patrick Dockrey" Jennacy Backo Michael Bauser The Lord High Everything Else Chris Mangum & Savanna Judd ARBANE@delphi.com gmn@cs.bu.edu (George Novodvorsky) ptupper@Direct.CA (Peter Tupper) underdog@mcl.ucsb.edu (Eric Tolle) pete@nyet.atl.ga.us (Pete Hardie) woodward@ftp.com (Jonathan Woodward) cm5323@wlv.ac.uk (J.W.Thomas) Editorial Policy ---------------- The vast majority of items described below have been suggested by others, and some of them I've never heard of before. As a consequence, I've had to either research the details, or make them up out of whole cloth. In some of the entries I am likely to have made mistakes. If you think you've found an error, or just have something to add, don't hesitate to let me know. If you want to make an addition, then please try to give more explanation than a single line (although I'll take that as well). I may not have seen the movie, or read the book that you are refering to, and I want the final list to give enough information on each item for a GM to be able to adjudicate the uses of things *he* has never heard of. At the end of this file is a list of suggested items that I could not figure out. Any help with them is also welcome. I should also mention that this list is being cross-posted to a fair number of newsgroups, and I am not a member of all of them. If you wish to insure that I see your replies, then either cross-post them to rec.games.frp.misc or send me e-mail. Oh, and please don't include the full text of this document in your replies to me, as I already have a copy. Not all items suggested will be included in this list, or unchanged if they are. Sometimes I will get several similar suggestions and will combine them into a single entry. Also, I will sometimes modify entries in an (ultimately futile) attempt at some sort of consistancy. Finally, not all items are suitable for inclusion in the warehouse. The following criteria have been been used to determine what belongs and what doesn't: A) The object must have some interest value, either as a curiosity, or as something that a bunch of role-players could have fun experimenting with. We want the role players who stumble upon this place to start opening boxes like a 5 year-old at Christmas. B) It has to be something that a Government Agency could get their hands on. This means that items that were created, used, and destroyed without any Government Agent ever hearing about it, won't be in the warehouse. This does not necessarily refer to the U.S. Government. The Global Conspiracy has its tentacles in all Governments, and the warehouse can be potentially anywhere on the planet. C) If the item is known to have been destroyed then the warehouse will only contain the remnants, photographs, eye witness accounts, or other surviving remnants. In some cases it will contain a working model, plans, or a successful attempt to duplicate the item in question. D) The item must be something that the Government would want to hide away in the warehouse. Simply being rare and valuable is not sufficient. The classes of items that are collected are: 1) Things that would be dangerous in the hands of the general public. This includes most James Bond type miniature weapons systems, Telepathic helmets, Teleportation beams, and the like. 2) Things that would embarrass the government if they were known. This is why most of the conspiracy stuff is in the warehouse. Things like the missing parts of the Nixon tapes, the details on the October Surprise, the failed assasination attempt on Santa Claus, and other Bloopers, Blunders and Government gaffes. 3) Things that weaken the Government's control on the people. Things falling in this category are cold fusion devices, perpetual motion machines, cars that don't need gasoline and food plants that can grow anywhere without tending. 4) Things that the scientists haven't figured out yet. This includes most futuristic and alien stuff. The fully detailed photographs of "the face on Mars", showing laser burns and such, the notes of the doctors who examined ET, a near-complete copy of "The Red Book of Westmarch" 5) Surprises for other countries, in case of attack. Here we have the assorted treaty-violating weapons, such as the speaker stacks from a Disaster Area concert, orbital mind-control lasers, prototype phaser weapons, and details on various Doomsday Machines. In general, you should assume that if the warehouse's doors were thrown open, whoever isn't vaporized or eaten would: 1) Tear down all authority with their bare hands. 2) Be forced to reevaluate everything they know about Life, the Universe and Everything 3) Be scared witless [[ A quick thanks to Travis McCord who pointed out the need for me to post these criteria, and whom I've just shamelessly plagiarized. :-) ]] Since this list is far from complete, it contains various editorial notes; mainly pleas for approval or cries for extra detail. These notes will be set aside from the main text, by being enclosed in double square brackets, [[ like the note just above ]]. One final note for the humor impaired: What follows is all a joke. No one is expected to take any of this seriously. No bias, either for or against any particular group should be infered from an object's inclusion in this list. The only criteria used for deciding which things will be found in the warehouse are those posted above. [Addendum to the Warehouse List: Who'dathunk that less than two years after we slapped this baby together on the old rec.games.frp, a show would come along that would make all this worthwhile. I am of course referring to the X-Files, a show that weekly shows the weirdness outside of the window, and gives us reason to fear the government yet again. In this addendum, I've endeavored to clean up some of the problem points, as well as add a few that have cropped up in recent months. Once again, any help in making this top-of-the-line is appreciated. Don't quote whole cloth; just append where necessary, and I'll try to collate the revisions. From time to time, I've also considered "clearing house," deleting items that, IMO, would NOT be in this kind of warehouse, such as Stormbringer. As far as I am aware, there's really no reason for Stormbringer to exist in this reality, except to say, "Cool! Stormbringer!" However, I respect the hard work and suggestions of others, and have let them stand The bottom half of the message consist of One-liners (theoretically humorous items) and Stumpers, which are usually more fun to figure out on your own. However, in the interest of making this resource useful, I will, where possible, include a reference to what precisely this all means in brackets {} -Timothy Toner thanatos@interaccess.com] Addendum to the Addendum (sigh): Well, we seem pretty split over the whole future item idea. With that in mind, then, I'm compiling a brief history of the Warehouse, which might explain where some of these high tech toys came from. In addition, don't get anal on me, people. I've run the darn thing through a spell checker, and sometimes it just doesn't work. Items that may seem "futuristic" might not be (the best example of this was mutiple protestations of the existence of Xenomorphs (Alien, Aliens, Alien^3). According to Earth Angel, published by Dark Horse, the Xenomorphs _did_ come to earth in the mid 1950s. Nothing precludes these creatures from paying a visit. Finally, to appease most people, I will be compiling a stremlined version of this list, which will NOT have most of the stuff that does not fit. The raw list will still be avaliable, so that you can see the fruits of your labors, but it will not be generally released. And so, without further ado, here's the warehouse: ======================================================= Background ---------- The world is actually being run by a coalition of secret societies and cabals, known (to a few) as the Global Conspiracy. This group long ago decided that certain knowledges and materials are too disruptive to be allowed to fall into subversive hands. These materials were also considered to be too potentially useful to be destroyed. Instead, a secret warehouse was established in which to store these dangerous items and a covert task force, known as the Collection Agency, was formed to oversee their procurement and storage. This task force has grown increasingly more conservative over the years, and as a result, many items have been stored away on the pretext that it is better to be safe than sorry. If the Collection Agency determines that you have an object that would be better off in more responsible hands, then you would be well advised to simply give it up. Remember, they have the full resources of the warehouse to back them up, should they become desperate. The History ----------- Buried in the labyrinthine cesspool of secrets that embodies the Warehouse is a simple fact: the Warehouse is an adjunct of the National Archives. For those who sign the paychecks and allocate the funds, its existence is as public and as visible as the various resevoirs of Americana the government collects all across the United States. The Warehouse, then, is just another building, just another line on a long list of funding allocations. It hides where such things hide best: in plain sight. The peculiar institution of democracy as it existed in the new nation of the United States presented new diplomatic dilemmas. It was quite common for one country to offer a gift to the monarch of another country, as a sign of esteem. The growing economic power of the U.S. guaranteed that most nations wanted to remain in their good graces. Gifts were numerous, but to whom were they offered? Presidents could not keep any of the gifts offered as a function of head of state, and no museums were set up to handle the flood of items. Additionally, as the first patriots died, whole estates were left to the nation, its contents adding to the backlog of possessions owned strictly by the people. Soon after the Library of Congress transformed into its present incarnation as the national repository of copyright, Congress passed around the idea of crating an institution which would handle all the realia acquired by the United States. Important items, such as priceless documents and significant artifacts of America's brave past, would be catalogued and stored for eventual inclusion in museums. Groups of archivists were recruited from the Library of Congress, and the arduous task of creating the National Archives began. For most of the populace, that is indeed the end of the story. However, there is a secret history of the Archives, a shadow wing existing only in theory, where most of the afterbirth of America is stored, kept far far away from the light of day. It was 1853, and abolitionists were inflaming antifederalist and seperatist sentiments in the Southern states. Southern politicians clung to the writings of the Antifederalists, who thought that power should rest solely in the states, and any attempt to regulate slavery on a federal level was against the very intent of those who fought and died to create America. Slavery, indeed, was expressly allowed in the Constitution. Rumors had begun to spread, however, about the existence of certain papers wherein the Antifederalists turned against the heinous institute of slavery. These documents were in their personal effects, given to the Archives upon their deaths, sitting, no doubt, in a crate somewhere, beign chewed by mice. If these documents could come to light, much of the pro-slave ry rhetoric would lose its potency. Thus, on a hot July night, four abolitionists broke into the main depository of the National Archives, a simple warehouse on the banks of the Potomac. They ransacked the place, sending irreplacable documents falling in all directions. Unable to find what they were looking for, they were chased off by a passing traveller. The incident is but a minor footnote in recorded history, since one of the abolitionists, John Brown, went on to lead an insurrection. However, the repercussions of that night are still felt today. The president himself came to inspect the carnage, and, picking up a random scrap of paper, was horrified to discover secret correspondence confirming that one of the former presidents practiced black magick that may have bordered on human sacrifice. Here it lay, for the world to see. There were other papers, no less sensitive. Had the abolitionists been less myopic, the confidence the American people invested in its leaders and its history would have been severely compromised. Over the next week, the president, along with certain congressional leaders and the chief justice, went over the crude manifest of the archives. It would have been easier to just burn the lot, and yet they felt that they owed a greater debt to history. One day, the truth would come out, they were certain. Until then, a safe place would have to be found. The First Staff Finding a place to stick the secret history of a nation wasn't terribly hard. More important by far was to be certain that the secret remained secret. It was decided that its location would be known only by the President, the Speaker of the House, and the Chief Justice, who would verbally pass it onto his successor. But who would watch the watchmen? Who could not only be entrusted with a secret, but also run the place, cataloguing documents that probably should have been destroyed decades ago? Librarians. The answer struck them like a thunderbolt. Librarians had an infallible sense of duty to the materials that they were put in charge of. A librarian would sooner die than betray a confidence. And indeed, a librarian was exactly what the job called for. Five candidates were culled from the best schools the nation had to offer, and in the shadow of civil war, the five met, and began the tedious process of documenting materials that no other man would see. Those five, Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones, Mr. Miller, Mr. Johnson, and Mr. Lee, fell out of the mundane world, and surrendered to the silence. They tore into the archives, instructed to remove anything of a questionable nature from the backlog. They understood the privelige that they had been granted, and worked with a zeal that intimidated the regular archivists. Within five years, they had weeded out all the sensitive materials, and moved into the Warehouse. They did not work alone, however. Those who stacked the boxes, who swept the floors and tidied up after closing were all immigrants selected primarily because of their illiteracy. They were well paid, and their children were promised cushy jobs, as long as the secret passed only through the family. The Post-Bellum Blues In 1873, they were finished. After giving the best years of their lives, four of the five were ready to move on to new assignments. Two days before they posted their joint resignation, leaving Mr. Smith to run the facility, a memo was issued to the warehouse from the Central Archivist: when would they come around to pick up their "stuff?" The American Civil war, it would seem, was very good in stirring up the muck deep in the heart of the nation. Items poured into the Archives in the postwar period, many acquisitions of slain officers and trophies of war. Several -- too many be some accounts -- were not for general viewing. The horrors of the war had dredged up something in the soul of the country, and for a time, it had stalked the land. Now fragments of its presence were showing up at the doorstoop of the Warehouse, looking for a place to be catalogued and stored. The president at the onset of war, it seemed, had informed the Central Archivist to tag certain items, and set them aside. Whereas ninety percent of the material already stored were documents - letters, orders, maps, etc. - much of the new material was realia, physical objects that were sent without accompanying notes as to why they were so potentially dangerous to the security of the country. At first, the Staff tried merely to provide an adequate physical description of the object, and safely tuck it away. This soon changed after Mr. Jones was almost killed by a Confederate calvary sabre that animated and attacked him. The Staff soon realized that if they were going to be handling explosives, they'd better find out precisely what would set them off. To this end, they received permission from the president to recruit specially selected Pinkertons who traced down precise stories about the gathered items. They hid well in the flood of carpetbaggers and historians streaming into the South, searching out the truth to legends. The Pinkertons performed their jobs admirably, and the flow of data, aided by a revised code which detailed purpose, helped to automate their jobs. The time of the yellow journalist and muckraker led to a new challenge for the Warehouse. Rumors began to spread of an organization, called the Collectors, who were scouring the countrysides. Supposedly they searched the battlefields for memorabilia of the war, to put into the trophy cases of the rich who had bought their way out of the fighting, and needed something above the mantle to back up their lies. Indeed, a few robber barons were doing this very thing, but not a few reporters accidentally stumbled across a pack of Pinkertons, hot on the trail of an item. Most of these reporters were misdirected, and the most clever and industrious, who peeled away at the layers of smoke and mirrors were actually offered jobs as Collectors, as the Pinkerton recruits were now called. A few refused, saying that the Warehouse was too big a secret. These men were clandestinely accused of treason, since they threatened to divulge the secrets of the nation. Tried in absentia, they were quickly executed. Still, the two weeks that this process took frightened the president. It was only sheer luck that the reporter had not divulged his story to others. The president signed Executive Order W-1, which allowed for the immediate execution of any individual who threatened to divulge any secret contained in the Warehouse. The trial would actually be held later, and if the person was found not guilty, it would be the agent who would be executed. Needless to say, very few Collectors falsly accused someone. However, it seemed that for every item successfully catalogued, another was sent in, discovered by the Archivist or a Pinkerton who followed up on a lead. At this point, the Staff realized their duty could be an eternal one, created perhaps by the presence of the Warehouse itself. It was as if at the moment the Warehouse opened, a vaccuum of secrets was created, and would not diminish until there were no more secrets. Hunkering down, they hid behind their ledgers, and let a world pass them by. The Second Staff Even government employees must retire, and after fifty years of dedicated service, the secrets of the Warehouse were passed on to a new generation, hand-picked by the first staff from the best and brightest librarians and archivists. Coincidentally, their names were the same: Lee, Smith, Jones, Brown, Johnson, and Miller, a tradition that continues to this day. The five new managers brought with them a bookful of new cataloguing theory. In fact, during the first five years, the code changed over four times, necessitating back cataloguing. This did not go over well with the workers, themselves the sons of the first workers, taught to respect their country and the secrets they guarded. In the end, practicality won over idealism, and an early form of the modern code was instituted. Part of the problem had to do with the very concept of the Warehouse. Would it be important to catalogue why these items were sent here? Some were self-explanatory, while others, mostly scraps of paper, seemed destined for the wastebin. At last, it was ascertained that to institute a special designation for the very most secret information would be counter-productive, an open invitation to the clever theif who would, it was assumed, break in. If necessary, notes as to why these items were so dangerous would be located in the manifest, but by the time this rule became policy, several items passed into anonymity. The Great War Time passed, and the Warehouse prospered in its own manner. The First World War meant an invasion of foreign items confiscated from those who would misuse them. Economic prosperity also meant a flood of secret documents upon which that prosperity was built had to be hidden and filed away. This deluge of paperwork led to the first great schism in the Warehouse, the File War. With over 90% of the warehouse's contents existing as information on paper, information that would not lose its value if copied in some other manner, a few member of the staff felt it worthwhile to expand the system, to allow for better cataloguing of these items. This was taken up as an independent project by three of the six, who unfortunately never passed a memorandum describing their attempt. Their first obstacle was reformatting the system. Several items consisting strictly of information had been classified under "D- Datum" or "E-Evidence," without much consistency. The problem was that so much of the cataloguing ststem existed in grey areas, the D-E being the most vague. The three set up shop in a little corner, and created a Warehouse within the Warehouse, to sort out this paper mess. Even amongst these three, there were nagging inconsistencies in style and technique. After spending four hours debating whether or not the transcript of a confession was evidence, the concept of a review board was scrapped. Even worse, it was discovered that Miller has actually transcribed a number of documents using a typewriter, and promptly destroyed the originals. Finally, D-E was wholly abolished, and a new class - F, came into being. Then all hell broke loose. The other three had been wondering what the first three were up to. Not privy to the endless debates about why it should be this way or that way, the second three out and out rejected the proposal. Four tense months followed, as each Librarian went about following his own personal system. At last, the stalemate was shattered when the President called down, needing the original draft of the Louisiana Purchase. In the best case scenario, it was one of three places, filed exactly as it should have. In the second best, it was placed in one of the six locations, determined by personal preferences. However, this particular document, which no less than four librarians recall reading, vanished out of the Warehouse, and subsequently out of existence. The result is a minor footnote to history: the French, wanting the original to verify claims made about Napolean, felt snubbed. They subsequently saw fit to ignore an important piece of American military analysis, reminding them to not only defend what would become the Maginot line, but also the northern border. Rather than feel chastized, the Librarians became even more insular. In fact, several Collectors felt strong loyalties to a specific Librarian, and delivered everything there. Important items were being lost in the home-grown catalogue systems which sprouted nightly. No one was speaking, and the Warehouse was spiralling out of control. So it went for three years. Items were haphazardly labelled, boxed, and stacked. All requests for spcific items were summarilly ignored. The Warehouse was divided into six sections, and woebetide any librarian who crossed the line. It came as no surprise to the staff, then, that a mere three months before the start of the Second World War (heralded by a strang pinging thingee, that everone ignored), blood was shed. The actual "battle" lasted fifteen minutes, when rival collectors attempted simultaneous raids on the inventories of the various Librarians. Five agents were killed in the senseless slaughter, which ended abruptly when the Staff, tired of the silent treatment, buried the attackers under a mound of toppled crates. For the next week, the Staff did nothing. No crates were moved. The mound of boxes stayed right where it was, and no one replaced the toilet paper in the bathrooms. This, perhaps the lowest blow, ended the war. The Librarians, under the watchful eye of the Staff, made their peace, and returned to the original code, with the addendum that any item existing in a paper formaat can be labelled with a terminal F, indicating that it is a "file.". The damage had been done, however, and to this day an unknown amount of D-E material remains improperly labelled. The Undertaking In this new era of cooperation, Smith and Miller threw aside their differences and popped open an exceedingly large crate taken from Nikolai Tesla's apartment. When it seemed that an argument would arise over the purpose of this mysterious item, Miller suggested simply turning the device on. With a huff and a hum, it burbled and spat the two librarians...elsewhere. They were on a street, presumably Los Angeles, and everyone was on edge. Smith purchased a paper, and realized that they were somehow three months into the future. The machine could project them through time and space! Even worse, they were sent to December 8, 1941, and handed a newspaper that vividly described the attack that would not occur for another three months. As the effect ended, Smith and Miller found themselves on the horns of a dilemma. Any items gathered through "non-conventional" means were always suspect, because they raised the question of a deeper motive than simple objective cataloging. In theory, items should come to the Warehouse through their own inertia, unless they were truly dangerous. Actively seeking out important bits of information could raise a bias into the process that would be disruptive to the mission of the Warehouse. In the end, the paper was sent to the President on 01 December 1941, who obviously was stunned. Still, after lengthy debates, it was decided not to act on this information, to test its veracity. Even though it was proven to be wholly accurate, the President decided not to take the Warehouse up on any more forays into the future. This continued up until the darkest days of the war, when critical decisions had to be made with the most accurate information possible. Specially trained teams of Collectors headed into the future to gather data about the effectiveness of certain strategies. Thankfully, seldom was a specific answer given. Instead, a similar amount of analysis was employed as if the generals didn't have this special information. It is difficult to say whther or not the Librarians won the war for the Allied forces, but what they did do was start a very dangerous trend. The Librarians, pleased with the success of the program, took it upon themselves to start filling some of the holes in the "secret history" of the United States. If there was some question as to which state - North and South Dakota - entered the Union first, a simple trip back would clear up any ambiguity. Also, rumors that other countries had Collector teams spurred the Warehouse to take a more proactive stance toward the retrieval of dangerous items all around the world. If that meant going back in time and stealing the items right from under the enemy (or in some cases allied) forces, so be it. The War ended, and the ranks of the Collectors swelled with veterans who didn't want to return to a sedate, stateside life. Each Librarian took charge of separate temporal devices, and employed their own teams to fulfill pet projects. The first great sin was that once again, no one compared notes. Teams were sometimes sent to identical dates, and yet they never, ever met. Even worse, the Librarians were becoming aware of a growing weirdness in all of their explorations. The farther they searched from the present, the more convoluted history became, particularly as they scanned the future for hints of America's destiny. At last, they stumbled upon realities so convoluted that they could not possibly be part of the present time stream. The Undertaking was halted, and the items were catalogued. In the last ten excursions, the loss of Collector life had been horrific. More begged to go back, to avenge the death of their comrades. This was refused. The Librarians, tired and disheartened, aware that their obsession had not safeguarded the future, retired at once, and set the machinery in motion to appoint successors. They viewed themselves as criminals, who had cost the Warehouse more than anyone could imagine. The Third Staff A group of retired Collectors formed a coalition to help run the Warehouse in the interim period. It was to seek out six new Librarians, supervise the hiring of a new staff, and form a new set of policies that were to be followed independant of ego and arrogance. Allowing this to happen was the final, and greatest mistake the Second staff made. Once the coalition formed, they were in no great hurry to relinquish this newfound power. A subtle shift in the balance of power occurred, and the Warehouse's mission became that of acquisition (often by any means necessary), not cataloguing. The new Librarians were by no means ambitious, which was the intention of the Coalition. They were more interested in returning to the original mission, that of careful safeguarding of the nation's (and as the US's sphere of influence expanded, the world's) deepest secrets. Jones, the first woman Librarian, became their leader when they became aware of the enormity of the duty. Jones ordered a complete and total history compiled, to understand where all this fit in. It was at that point that they discovered the journal of one of the former Librarians, detailing his personal fears about the consequences of the Undertaking. These were to be fully realized when the Librarians realized any sort of chonology could not be cobbled together. They were the first to take a step back, and see that all of the expeditions were travelling to different timelines, and that the evidence gathered in these expeditions were placed in the Warehouse without any notations about who placed it there. Thus, the history of the United States, which they were to carefully catalog, became a hopeless jumble of events. In one case, six scraps of paper were discovered, each proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that a certain person had been Jack the Ripper. Apparently, they had been culled from six different timelines, and there was no way of knowing which was true for their timeline. Any attempt to accurately catalog history had become permanently mired in the best intentions of the Second Staff. Four of the six Librarians wanted to shut down the Warehouse at that moment. Without an adequate understanding of their overall mission, its continued existence would be pointless. The entire contents should be mothballed, closed forever to prying eyes. The Coalition, of course, disgreed. Using a little .45 caliber persuasion, the six became prisoners of the institution they had worked so hard to comprehend. It wasn't difficult to understand the reasons for the Coalition's brutality. Many were veterans of the various forays into the past and future, saw the hells manufactured by ignorance and sloppiness, and knew that the price of freedom was indeed eternal vigilance. They didn't listen to the Librarians, who tried to tell them of the "false pasts and futures." After all, except for the very first expedition, no Librarian ever stuck his neck out for God and country. Despite the fact that they were now virtually slaves, the Librarians reattacked the contents of the Warehouse with a new fervor. Left with no other choice, they decided to make the most of it, and regain a semblance of order. Each took up a different technical subject, to help understand precisely what they were dealing with. The coalition had begun to sink its claws into the various intelligence agencies, hoping to use their contacts to locate possible acquisitions. With each passing year, the Coalition moved farther and father from the day-to-day operations of the Warehouse, and deeper into the shadow of the shadows in which the CIA operated. This proved extremely beneficial to the Lbirarians, who enjoyed a brief taste of freedom before the coming storm. The Darkest Night By 1950, the warehouse was bursting at the seams with acquisitions. A few rare, large objects had taken up enormous amounts of space. The Coalition agreed to employ a bit of technology extracted from an expedition that would expand the interior volume of an object without affecting its exterior surface area. Putting the device into operation was relatively simple, but its long term effects could not be judged for another five years. It began with subtle malfunctions in the complex devices, as the Librarians tried to fathom their purpose. Sometimes inert instruments would flare to life, or fade out of existence. It was difficult to tie all the incidents to a common cause, and so the abberations were ignored. Soon simple devices that were carried in after the field was set up began to malfunction. Flashlights burned with the intensity of lasers before melting down. Guns disassembled themselves. A new forklift manifested the ability to become insubstantial for several minutes. Everything became very, very unpredictable. Working around the clock, Jones and Johnson uncovered an unpublished treatise written by Heisenberg that described the effect of imposing fourth dimensional operants on three dimensional objects. In effect, everything in the Warehouse could no longer be counted on operating in a constant, regular, scientific manner, including their own minds. Once again, they warned the coalition, and once again, they were ignored. 15 January 1960. The Coalition, acting on data gathered during the Undertaking, began to court the next president of the United States, Richard Nixon. Wanting to maintain good relations, they offered him critical information on the Kennedy camp, information that was later discovered to be tainted by the Field. By the time Kennedy won, it was too late. Most of the high level leaders of the Coalition has managed to thorougly alienate the new President. When Eisenhower whispered the secret to Kennedy, he knew how he would bring his promises to light. He visited the Warehouse, and announced to the Librarians, without the Coalition present, that he would work to release certain items to the general public. He left it up to the Librarians to decide what these items should be. Needless to say, they felt like kids in a candy store. When the Coalition found out about this, they were furious. All communications were shut down, and during the Cuban Missile Crisis, for the first time in 20 years, an American president had to make a decision without its farseeing wisdom. It should be noted that the Librarians, allowed to do the analysis themselves, managed to discern the correct course of action. They and their scientific research had cracked the Credibility barrier. Kennedy was furious. He ordered the Coalition disbanded, and the contents of the Warehouse to be scattered to six sites around the United States. The Coalition threw up their hands, and did absolutely nothing. They would wait for his return from Dallas before making a move. Whose job was it to monitor all the gadgets and gizmos? Who had seen that the whatjamacallit, which scanned the future timelines, was turned off? While the watchmen were watching the watchmen, no one was guarding the door, and an assassin by the name of Oswald crept in, and snuffed out a candle. This occurrence so stunned those who had heard of the Warehouse and its powers that they either ceased to believe in its existence, or saw that as a fatal blow against its credibility. If they knew the president was to die, then why didn't they do anything? In the minds of a vengeful few, the Warehouse and those who ran it were just as guilty. More importantly, it was the first time a president had died without imparting the secret to his successor. FDR had prevented the secret from being passed through any other channels, leaving the president as the sole witness. While the Coalition was being killed in their sleep, the various intelligence communities saw this as a prime opportunity to truly seize the reins of power. For too long, such a prize had been subject to the whim of one man. Now, authority over it would be shared by a council, acting indenendently of any Agency. It would serve as a repository of all the dirty secrets, perhaps precisely as it always was intended. When the horrors that the Librarians endured came to light, no one in the new board desired their deaths. They were capable and dedicated, and they were allowed to continue the job in defense of America. The Librarians had no illusion about how little power they held, and accepted this role without complaint. The Warehouse Today After telling the new board that Nixon knew not only of the existence of the Warehouse, but its precise location, the Librarians received approval to move the warehouse to one of the six locations which Kennedy initiated. Its precise location would be known only to the Staff and the Librarians, and a single member of the cabal. Indeed, so soon after the darkest night, when the floors of the Warehouse ran with Coalition blood, the Librarians enjoyed their finest hour. Using a few pieces of alien technology, they figured out how to reduce the effect of the flux field, as well as how to make the Warehouse exist in all six locations! If any one location was compromised, it would cease to exist there, and another area would be approved. This would stop anyone using satellites from tracking the flow of vital secrets to any one location. The Librarians are all past middle age, and have been thorougly humbled by their experience. The attempt to create a Unified history failed miserably, though Jones still bands away at her charts, hoping to make some sense of it all. They rankle at being under the aegis of the Cabal, which is now truly global in scope, and are determined that the next Librarians should be of sterner stuff than they. Until then, however, the Librarians do what they do best: survive. Notes: The Flux Field: This strange energy field transforms the Warehouse into a hypercube. Unless a person remains in the Warehouse for more than a month, however, his mind is still locked into a 3-D reference. He will undoubtably get blinding headaches, and become hopelessly lost, but the Staff are only too ready to help some errant soul find the door (where it is a _good_ door depends on how politely the petitioner asks). The field also enhances the weirdness of the environment quite a bit. Three dimensiosn are being stretched on a rack into four. Time will dialate and contract. Complex items will begin to malfunction. The overall effect of this cube generates the first line of defense -- anyone smart enough to break in will want to leave after about four hours. The Warehouse ------------- The Warehouse is a huge structure, divided into three major areas. Each area is used to hold items which present different storage problems. The first area is for items which require no special treatment, the second area is for items that need to be kept cold in order to be properly preserved, and the third area is for items which require a constant power supply. A crude ASCII map should give the right idea: +-----------------------------------------------------+----------------------+ | # | | Area 'A' - Main Storage ! Area 'B' | | ! Refrigerated Storage | | ! | | Assume a uniform ceiling height of 20m (60 ft) ! | | ! | | Scale: 1 square = ~3m (10 ft) ! | | ! | | Legend: ! | | + Wall Intersection # | | - Horizontal, solid wall (armored) +----------------------+ | | Vertical, solid wall (armored) | Power Generators | | O External security door (armored) | and Refrigerators | | = Huge external cargo door (armored) +----------------------+ | ! Mobile internal wall panel # | | # Human-sized door in a mobile wall panel ! Area 'C' | | ! Powered Storage | | ! | | ! | | ! | | # | +--============-----------------------============O---+----------------------+ Area 'A', the first area is, by far, the largest. It is maintained at a constant temperature of 15 C (60 F) and a constant humidity of 10%. [[ I assume that these are reasonable conditions for bulk storage. Does anyone know better? ]] Area 'B' is an enormous refrigerator. It is separated from the Area 'A' by a wall of insulated panels. The panels are mounted in tracks on the floor and ceiling, and are hinged where they join. They can be folded away so as to form a large opening for cargo to be moved in or out. There is a motor provided for this purpose, with controls on the only section of the right hand wall of Area 'A' that is not mobile. At each end of the refrigerator is a normal sized door to allow folks in or out without having to move the walls. The interior of the refrigerator is kept at a frigid -60 C (-76 F) at all times. Area 'C' is just slightly smaller than Area 'B'. It contains all of the items which require some form of active environmental protection. This includes all machinery which the collection agency could not (or dared not) turn off. This section also houses all of the equipment that is regularly used by the warehouse, or its staff. Like Area 'B', this area also has mobile walls, and a motor to move them. Staff ----- [[ I've gotten lots of suggestions for staff members here. Everyone from Elvis to Warhol. At the moment, I don't have anyone in particular running the place. Why not send me your vote for favorite custodian. Folks already suggested are: Andy Warhol Jimmy Hoffa Elvis Presley Santa Claus Andy Kaufman The sole custodian is a redheaded forty- or fifty-year-old man, somewhat rotund and in the middle stages of male-pattern baldness, with a large moustache. Speaks in a friendly and amiable manner, able to put anyone at ease, and makes a damn great Irish whisky. If asked, he gives his name as "Mike." (This is Mike Callahan, from Spider Robinson's "Callahan's Crosstime Saloon" novel series. A very appropriate choice, as Callahan is/was actually a time traveller from the future who saved the Earth and dispensed philosophical and psychological advice. He didn't use high-tech weapons or super powers, he just ran a bar while the strangest people in the universe walked through his front door. Highly recommended books, BTW) Amelia Earhart Charles Lindbergh Jr. Deep Throat (demoted for talking to Woodward and Bernstein)... Ex-King Oberon of Amber. H. P. Lovecraft Dr. Benway. {Naked Lunch, by William S. Burroughs} Several Caroline clones Samantha Mulder ]] Packaging --------- Any item in Area 'A' of the warehouse that is smaller than about 3m (10 feet) on a side is sealed in a wooden crate. There are several huge crates in the area but most of the larger items are either laying exposed on pallets, or are covered by tarpaulins. No crate is smaller than 60 cm (2 feet) on a side, regardless of the size of the contents. All crates are strongly reinforced, since they are stacked 20 deep in places. All of the items in the refrigerated section are sealed in crates to avoid ice evaporation. This is a storage regulation, so even articles which contain no ice, but need to be stored cold, will be in crates. There are far fewer items in section 'C', than in the other sections. Since the items in this section require some sort of constant upkeep, none of them are stored in crates. Instead, each item has a custom metal cabinet that folds aside to reveal the contents. All of the cabinets are locked, and only the custodian has the keys. (The cabinets would not be particularly difficult to break into). A few of the truely large items in this area are not fully enclosed, but merely have a cabinet built around their control sections. Markings -------- Most crates and cabinets in the warehouse bare no markings other than a standard identification code. A few containers have warnings about fragile contents, or which end must be placed up. Workers in this warehouse have been thoroughly impressed by the dangers of ignoring these warnings. As a consequence, all warnings, no matter how strange, are rigidly followed. The identification codes that are used is a varient on the standard US military scheme. Each code is in the form: XXX-NNNN-PP where XXX is a three letter code, NNNN is a item number within that three-letter code grouping, and PP is an optional part number for items which have been disassembled and stored in several crates. Most crates have a four digit item number, since less than 10,000 items were expected to be found in any one category. In the cases where this has proved false, extra digits have been added. [[ I'm not totally happy with what follows. Even using broad categories, I can easily list more than 26 common purposes for items. And Principals of Operation can sometimes be REAL hard to figure out. :-) ]] The three letter codes are interpreted as follows: First letter - Purpose AAA Analysis Object analyzes or describes other objects BBB Battle Object is intended to be used in battle CCC Communication Object allows communication over a variety of media DDD Data Object contains or is a large collection of information EEE Evidence Object is evidence supporting a theory or claim FFF Specimen Object is to be subjected to further investigation later GGG Generation Object produces matter or energy HHH Repair Object maintains or repairs other objects III Invocation Object helps secure a supernatural being's favor or blessing JJJ Enjoyment Object is designed to bring pleasure or entertain. KKK Transformation Object converts one thing into another LLL Logic Object performs calculations or computations. MMM Model Object is a (possibly working) scale model of something NNN Nourishment Object is intended to provide food OOO Observation Object gathers information via some sensing method PPP Propulsion Object is intended to move objects it is attached to QQQ Duplication Object is intended to replicate other objects RRR Regulation Object governs the actions of another object SSS Summoning Object produces the physical form of a supernatural being TTT Transportation Object moves material, while remaining stationary UUU Universal Object is capable of an enormous range of operations VVV Vehicle Object's main purpose is transportation of people or cargo WWW Misc Any purpose not covered elsewhere. XXX Unknown No known purpose for this object YYY Not applicable Concept of purpose is not compatible with this object ZZZ Reflexive Object provides purpose Second letter - Principal of Operation A Atomic Works by harnessing nuclear forces B Biological Object is biological, or has biological components C Complex Machine Uses electronic, electric and mechanical principles D Divine Works due to intersession of a supernatural force or god E Electromagnetic Works due to electromagnetic principals F Flow Works by controlling flow of a substance G Gravitic Works by harnessing Gravitational forces H Modifies Laws Works by modifying physical laws I Inert Object is an inert substance with interesting properties J Chemical Object works by chemical reactions K Kinetic Works through manipulation of kinetic energy L Logic Flaw Object works despite the fact that it clearly cannot M Magical Object uses mystical forces N Nanotechnology Object is constructed of billions of tiny robots O Physical Law Works by obeying simple laws of physics (eg. boats float) P Psychic Operates using mental energy Q Quantum Works at a sub-atomic level R Recursive Object works due to effects caused by its operation S Simple Machine Works via cogs, levers, pulleys, springs, etc. T Temporal Object manipulates time U Solid State Object is a solid-state electronic device V Environmental Object interacts with its environment in unique ways W Misc Any operating principal not covered elsewhere X Unknown No known pricipal of operation Y Not applicable Principal of operation is not an object-compatible concept Z Reflexive Object is acted upon, it does not act itself Third letter - Method of Use A Autonomous Object is self activated and self controlled B Bi-state Object is either OFF or ON, it has no other controls C Consumed Object must be consumed or injected to have effect D Directed Object accepts commands and attempts to carry them out E Extension Object behaves as an extension of the users body F File Object exists as a file or dossier G H Hand operated Object's control surface is manipulated by hand I Installed Object must be installed or inserted in other equipment J K L Logic Program Object must be carefully programmed before use M Material Object is a raw material in some process N O P Piloted Object requires continuous operation of controls to function Q R Ritualistic Object is operated by ritual gestures, words or activities S T Telepathic Object obeys thoughts or desires of user U Uncontrolled Object is in continuous operation, and cannot be turned off V W Misc Methods of use not covered elsewhere X Unknown No method of use is known for this object Y Not applicable Method of Use is not a concept compatible with this object Z Reflexive Object controls user [OOPS] Acronym for "Out Of Place Specimen," an object discovered that hints at the existence of technology not representative of the era it has been carbon-dated to. Entry Format ------------ The idividual entries that follow are all in the same form: XXX-NNNN-PP Area AAA CCCCC SSSxSSSxSSS WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT Where: XXX-NNNN-PP is the identification code AAA is the storage area, one of: 'A', 'B' or 'C' CCCCC is the container type, one of: Crate, Tarp, Pallet or Cabinet SSS is the size in centimeters (length, then width, then height) WWWWWWWWWW is any warning text that may be on the container BBBBBBBBBB is a brief summary of the item in question TTTTTTTTTT is detailed explanatory text on the object Eventually, all measurements will be in both metric and imperial. Bear with me. Warehouse Contents ------------------ AAA Analysis Object analyzes or describes other objects BBB Battle Object is intended to be used in battle BAA-0022 Area 'A' Crate 250x100x100 Cylon Robot This crate contains a large humanoid robot, in steel armor. It has been deactivated and appears to be heavily damaged. Its "face" consists of a metal speaker grille and a single red eye-slit. Attached notes mention that the robot identifies itself as a "Cylon," and is extremely dangerous. Once activated, it automatically seeks out and destroys all humans it can find. Instructions for how to reconnect the robot's internal power supply are included, with warnings. {Battlestar Galactica} BAB-0006 The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator Looks very much like a child's firecracker, one of the "M-80s" so popular. In fact, the Modulator produces enough energy that, when focussed properly, whole planets can be cracked in half. {Warner Brothers cartoons} BAB-0008 Area A Crate 60x60x60 "Red Mercury" miniature fusion bomb The so-called "baseball bomb" is a metal sphere 15cm in diameter, massingg 10kg. The accompanying technical literature indicates that is operates by subjecting a slurry of a mercury antimony oxide to high pressure with plastic explosive lenses. The resulting explosion is the equivalent of about a ton of TNT and also throws off a neutron dose lethal within 100m. Much of the technical data is in Russian. {This device is actually rumored to exist, but good evidence is lacking. There was an article about it a few months ago in _Spin_) BAB-0034 Gamma Bomb An early prototype of the neutron ray, the gamma bomb sought to destroy only mammalian cells in its area of effect. However, the "gamma particles" relased by the blast somehow interacted with the psyche of the target, and many so exposed mutated into twisted variants on the darkest parts of the mind. One such victim, creator Dr. Bruce Banner, escaped from the test site and disappeared into the desert. {Incredible Hulk} BAB-0065 Nazi Nukes Prototype nuclear weapons, most employing extremely crude forms of plutonium that (if they worked at all) would have made an area uninhabitable for years. BAH-0011 Area 'A' Crate 35x30x15 Proton Pack A heavy (approximately 55 pounds) backpack filled with electronic gear. When activated, a small nuclear accelerator in the pack builds up an ectoplasmic energy charge that can be used to affect beings composed of ectoplastic matter. The charge is released through a rod attached to the pack by a heavily-shielded cable. The rod includes settings for "attack" and "containment," and a trigger. Squeezing the trigger fires an erratic proton beam, requiring a good dose of strength to control. Notes warn that (1) the backpack's shielding is spotty, and prolonged use may be hazardous, (2) the energy charge can and will affect "ordinary" items and beings, and (3) never, EVER CROSS THE STREAMS! {Ghostbusters} BAH-0012 Area 'A' Crate Paranormal Investigation Kit Contained herein is the tools of the paranormal investigator, ranging from Kirilian goggles to a Psychokinetic Energy meter, to traps designed to captured ectoplasmic entities. Included in this crate is a scholarly discours by Dr. E. Spengler, on the theory behind the traps, as well as how to design more. One trap currently seems to be "loaded." BAL-0009 Gamma-ray laser (The trick here is that these babies are pumped by an exploding nuke, and have only one shot before they vaporize themselves.) BBB-0125 Two 16-inch Battleship Cannon shells These naval shells were filled with Quick-Death organism bomblets, a super-virus that killed everything and did not lose their potentcy for about 5000 years. They were lost on a flight across the USA in the fifties. The plane crashed in a Colorado lake and was recovered later. {Vixen 03} BCE-0012 Imperial Stormtrooper gear [OOPS] Defintely a relic of the Undertaking, the body armor seems to be created from a unidentified polymer matrix that helps distribute various forms of energy through the suit. Unfortunately for the wearer, the armor is effective for only a few shots / blows before the entire suit fails catastrophically. {Star Wars} BCE-0075 Dalek Carapace [OOPS] Hinged open so the entire top section swings forward. A tank of green goo, with a large green blob floating in it. Notes indicate that there was once a live dalek in suspended animation in Area C," but it has since died. BCH-0010 A stun gun Standard government issue stun guns, these weapons were to replace traditional slugthrowers in urban environments by 1980, when it was decided that it would too readily undermine the authority of the various peace officers. The devices work on the principle of charging a small bag full of metal ball bearings with electrical current. When the target is struck, the charge is passed to the target's muscles, effectively paralyzing them. BCP-0037 A supersonic intercontinental jet bomber developed by the Nazis While technically an OOPS, the technology is no more advanced than most of the other avionics avaliable to the Nazis at the time. More important perhaps is the identity of the agent that allowed them to put it all together so well. The vehicle is similar to the Flying wing design, except that it has a wingspan in excess of the B-29 Flying Fortress. BCP-0107 Area 'A' Pallet 600x600x400 BCP-0108 Area 'A' Pallet 600x600x400 BCP-0109 Area 'A' Pallet 600x600x400 Martian War Machines (3) After the failed Martian invasion at Grovers Mills on October 30, 1938 as described by Orson Wells in his classic broadcasts, several of the Martian war machines were recovered and placed in the warehouse. A successful coverup campaign managed to convince most of the world that the broadcasts had been a hoax, or a radio play. The devices appear to be large metal tripods, 30 ft. tall, with retractable, prehensile limbs. Two main weapons were the notorious "heat ray," which consisted of a mirror and a hitherto unknown energy source, and several cannisters of a highly toxic substance that acts as a contact poison. Not even full biowarfare gear can protect the user from exposure. The agent is administered in a great cloud, which kills in seconds. However, the cloud is extremely dense, and highly unstable. Within hours, the components disperse, leaving the area breathable. {War of the Worlds, short story, movie, and TV series, and Invasion from Mars, radio play} BCP-0204 BCP-0205 2 Prototypes of the Avro Arrow Fighter plane. [[Still need data on this one]] BCW-0023 Nazi Armory Many crates of bizarre super-tech weapons, all marked with swastikas. [[Any details?]] BEI-0098 CD from Hell A wrist mounted weapon which fires magnetically guided spinning disks which cut very finely ("..it's like a razor cut, only cleaner..."). It ended up wedged in a speaker magnet and taken to a gov't lab for analysis. BIY-0001 Area 'A' Crate 80x80x40 Captain America's Shield A circular shield, about 3' in diameter, with concentric red and white rings and a star in the center on a blue field. The material is non-ferrous metal, which seems to absorb vibrations without transforming them into another form of energy (such as sound or heat) The shield has aerodynamic properties. It can be thrown by a strong person for about a hundred meters, and ricchochet with little loss of momentum.. {Captain America} BJB-0005 Aerosol cans Seven in all, three are labeled 'Nitro 9'and four 'Nitro 9A.' Contains concentrated ultra high explosive in a sort of stable container, fused for 3 second delay. {Dr. Who} BJH-0032 Happy Fun Ball Happy Fun Ball seemed to be a run of the mill "superball," made out of superelastic polymers with a liquid core (diameter of 3.5 cm). Sold as an innocuous toy in the late 1980s, Happy Fun Ball soon proved to be anything but fun. For a reason not well understood, toy manufacturer Fun-Guy added foreign material to the liquid center of the ball, material harvested from the center of a meteorite that had crashed near the Haddonfield, IL plant. The additive did lend a remerkable bounce to the toy, but it also made it more toxic than plutonium, as well as mildly explosive. Fun-Guy was compelled to recall thousands of defective models. A few were seized by the Warehouse, in the interest of proper historical chronicalling. Strangest of all, Happy Fun Ball seemed mildly sentient, becoming more volatile whenever negative emotions (particularly those aimed at it) were used in the area.(SNL) BKH-0026 Baseball bat This metal baseball bat seems to be composed of standard aluminum. However, the material is unknown and untestable, as all attempts to take a sample cause sympathetic vibrations in the instrument that shake it to pieces. Despite it having the weight and balance of a normal bat, three hard blows are sufficient to crack inch thick titanium. When swung, it hums ominously. Bears the name "Ace" on a small scrap of tape. BMH-0009 Stormbringer A black sword, with red runes on it, unearthed in western Canada with a petrified human skeleton. The sword is dated as being older than the earth where it was found. Researchers tested the sword to find out what it was made of, but it defied their efforts. Everyone who touched the sword died. BMH-0016 Excalibur A broadsword from roughly 600 AD with a woman's hand still gripping the hilt. Assumed to be the weapon which the mythical Arthur used in battle. It is exceedingly sharp, and shows no sign of decay. {Arthurian Legend} BMH-0017 Dyrnwyth The weapon appears to be cold forged iron, crudely fashioned. It is secured in a decaying leather scabbard (which has not decayed any further in the last 50 years). Written on the pommel in an early form of Welch is the following inscription, "Drawn Dyrnwyth, only thou of noble birth / And use it to strike down evil." All attempts to remove the scabbard results in an explosion, leaving the subject with horrific radiation burns. {Mabignogian, Prydain Chronicles} BMH-0018 The Spear of Destiny This is suposedly the spear (wielded by the Roman centurion Casca ) that was shoved into the side of Jesus while he was on the cross. There are also rumors that it may have once belonged to Odin. The Spear of Destiny resufaced from time to time in European history. According to legend, any leader who wielded it into battle simply could not lose. One now understands Hitler's fixation with it. Also said to have been wielded by St. George the Dragonslayer, and may or may not be the same as Rhonoghymant (sp?), the spear owned by Arthur. BMH-0019 Large number of Swords [[ Maybe all 12? ]] BMH-0020 The Sword Victorious Similar to BMH-016, this is the legendary Sword in the Stone. It contains a note that it was recovered during the Undertaking, after being taken from a peasant boy. BMI-0001 Excalibur's scabbard Apparently a match for BMH-016, the scabbard is seperately listed because of its unusual properties. While the scabbard is worn, any wounds inflicted on the wielder simply do not bleed. Infection does not set in, and the wounds seem to heal at a vastly accellerated rate. BOH-0001 Calico kit bash The "calico kit bash" is a Hollywood SFX man modifying a calico machine pistol. The calico is a machine pistol with an M-16 barrel, cut down, and a handgrip from the same gun. It holds some 60 rounds of .22 ammo in a helix clip along the top of the pistol. In all, it does look kinda spacey. In I Come in Peace, the gun has five settings, each with an exponentially higher damage. At five, it could probably take out a couple of semis, or maybe a large house. Definitely something the government wouldn't want to give up {I Come In Peace} BOL-0005 Deactivated Cybernaut Large humanoid metal robots, semi-autonamous but not capable of any thought, capable of passing for human only from a distance. Slow but virtually unstoppable and indestructible. {The Avengers} BPZ-0061 Tripod and several caps [OOPS] Similar in design to BCP-0017, the tripods seem designed for an immense race with prehensile tentacles. The tripods are 15m tall, with a variety of metal tentacles that allow grasping. The caps seem to be neural inhibitors, which are bolted directly onto the skull and inhibit certain thoughts (such as rebellion). Certain agencies have expressed interest in the application of the technology. (The White Mountain trilogy) BQB-0030 Q Bomb Resembling a metal football in size and physical appearance, the Q-bomb is a weapon of horrific power. It is extremely sensitive to vibrations, and any good shake can set off the timer. The closer it gets to detonation, the faster it ticks. After a certain point, any jarring impact sets off the explosion (roughly equivalent to 10 megatons). {The Mouse that Roared} BQH-0002 Hand Phaser [OOPS] Discovered in an alley in 1933, near the scorched remains of an unidentified vagrant. BQH-0003 Area 'A' Crate 20x10x10 Light Saber [OOPS] This crate contains a small metal tube that can be held in one hand. One end of the tube has a grilled port, while a small button is inbedded in the side of the tube. If the button is pressed, an energy beam of approximately 1 meter in length protrudes from the grille, held in place by unknown forces (possibly electromagnetic). The light beam can penetrate all known physical substances. BZE-5068 Area 'A' Steamer Trunk 120x90x75 Box of Costumes This old trunk contains a dozen WWII-era superhero costumes (GM's choice of heroes), complete with padded muscles and strange gimmicks to simulate superpowers. (The costumes are evidence that there really were costumed mystery men during the War, but the government has covered up their existence after most of the heroes died in action.) CCC Communication Object allows communication over a variety of media CEL-001 ET's home phone number {E.T. The Extraterrestrial} More than just a string of data, this device is actually a crude hyperspace transmitter formed from parts such as an umbrella, tinfoil, a Speak-and-Spell, and the blade of a radial saw. CZH-0098 An English-Dolphin translator's dictionary The first half of this journal instructs the reader as to the proper way to form various parts of the tongue, lips, and nose, to produce some of the elementary sounds. Once a dolphin is aware that you want to communicate, it will change its tones to a range more easily understood by humans. CEH-024 The hand set from Quantum Leap that got left in 1945 (last episode) [OOPS] This object, retrieved from a small coal town in West Virginia, seems to be a data tranceiver, capable of receiving and sending huge amounts of data. However, the device seems to be sodered together in a hurry, since it is often necessary to strike its surface to make it work properly. CEB The Necrophone Edison's final invention, it is a device enabling one to speak with the dead. It works on a similar principle to the telephone, except that the speaker apparatus seems to emit no sound, and the headset worn oover the operator's ears can sometimes pick up tinny whispers. CVI-025 Headpiece to the Staff of Ra A gold medallion with raised markings on each side, and an off-center hole holding a red crystal.{Raider's of the Lost Ark} CZH-023 The "Doolittle" Journals Dictionaries to communicate with any animal. CZH The directions on how to call Fa and Be {Day of the Dolphin} CZH-0098 Area 'A' Crate 100x50x50 English-Dolphin Translation Gear This crate holds two things -- a waterproof electronic device, approximately 20x25x10, and an instruction booklet/translation dictionary. The device accepts audio input from two jacks, provides audio output to one speaker, and video output to a VGA computer monitor. One microphone and speaker are labelled "dolphin," and the other microphone and video output are labelled "human." / Setting up the gear involves plugging the machine into a standard wall socket, connecting the necessary microphones/speaker/monitor, then immersing the "dolphin" microphone and speaker into a tank. When dolphin squeals arebroadcast into the "dolphin" microphone, the monitor displays a series ofcolored binary digits (red-0 green-1 red-1 blue-0, for instance). Theinstructions convert the CBDs into equivalent English phrases and ideas. When English speech is spoken into the "human" microphone, the speaker plays a series of squeals and clicks, roughly corresponding to equivalent ideas in the dolphin language ("dolphine"). The instructions offer suggestions for speaking, and dolphine phrases for common items. DDD Data Object contains or is a large collection of information DZF Conspiracy theory books that were too close to the truth. The Complete Charles Fort The Complete Operating Thetan (secret scriptures of the Church of Scientology) [[ Does anyone have a good list of conspiracy theory books that are out there? We should have at least a dozen. ]] DZF-9615 A package of detailed plans for controlling the world by manipulating the world food and energy shortages DZF-0022 The Necronomicon by Abd ul'hazred [[ spelling? ]] DZF-0023 DZF-0027 DZF-0096 Plans for an ftl drive. One set of notes are scrawled on the backs of various paper placemats and napkins, indicating the desperation which the inventor felt as the Collection team closed in on him. DZI-0016 Secret Kennedy Kidnapping Film A film reel of the JFK 'assasination' taken from close by, and in front of, the main procession. The film clearly shows Kennedy being shot from the front, but with a strange dart. It also reveals that bodies were switched within a second of JFK collapsing. The film case is marked with a CIA file number, and the words TOP SECRET. DZI-0019 Intact Copies of the Watergate Tapes [[ What interesting tidbits should be on these? ]] The Plumber's uncovered the truth: that Nixon was really a Communist stooge, a la The Manchurian Candidate. Liddy forces Nixon to resign, or all will come clean. Liddy continually refers to someone else other than Nixon as "his Prince." DZF-0019 Documents on the Iran/Contra connection [[ I'm not a conspiracy buff. Who wants to help out here? ]] Fairly simple: Lt. Col. Oliver North sent money earmarked to help the Contras in their war against the Sandinistas in Nicaragua to Iran in the form of weapons, etc., in exchange for influence in helping obtain the release of several prisoners. This occurred in the middle of Reagan's worst sabre-rattling tirades, with promises that we would not cave in to terrorism. DZF-0020 Documents on the October Surprise conspiracy During the 1980 Presidential campaign, the GOP sensed that they could grab the presidency, but they needed to make Carter look ineffectual. Iran was close to caving into sanctions, imposed because they still held Americans hostage. The GOP promised to look favorably on Iran and reward certain well placed Iranaian officials if they would forestall the release of the hostages (due to be released during October of 1980), until after the election. True to their word, the Iranians relased the hostages during Reagan's inaugural speech, thus making it historic. DZF-0021 Documents on the BCCI, S&L and contra connection [[ Again, any takers? ]] DZF-0096 CIA reports on their drug running operations DZF-0015 The CIA after-action report on its successful kidnapping of JFK DZF-0023 The CIA after-action report and full laboratory procedure book on the creation of the AIDS virus in government labs, including the procedure for creating a cure/vaccine DZF-0003 Text of simple geometric procedure for trisecting any angle DZF-0002 The manuscript of Fermat's Last Theorem This item was recently discovered missing, and presumed stolen. DZF-0345 Location of Genetic Resevoir Created during the 1950s under the guise of the Salk polio vaccine, the Resevoir is a complete medical history of every American, alone with a tissue sample. Physically located in an abandoned coal mine in West Virginia, the results are systematically being entered into a computer database. {X-Files} DZF-0034 Expedition reports from the Hollow Earth Photographs, journals and other report materials from an expedition to the inside of the Earth via the hole at the North Pole. DZF-0029 Santa Claus's security clearance application materials Santa was only granted a low-level security clearance due to clear communist tendencies, evidenced by his giving away of toys. DZF-0012 The Last Order of Lenin The Last Order of Lenin was a deathbed statement by Lenin, which was supposedly an order that Stalin was to be purged, or prevented by the Party from ever reaching power. At least this was the story cultivated by Stalin's enemies and picked up outside the USSR to vilify him more as a renegade. Stalin's people suppressed the order, if it ever existed, and officially the Last Order was a typically Leninesque harangue for the Party, etc., and unofficially (but the approved unofficial version) a secret plan of his to further the spread of Communism throughout the world. The last order, however, was far more sinister than most suppose. According to most sources, the last command was to dismantle the whole thing. The dictatorship of the proletariat would be far from temporary, and thus the experiment was a failure. All who disagreed were to be executed. DZF-0001 The Octavo This is the Creator's spell book. It contains the Eight spells that he used to create the entire universe. It is felt that if the spells are incanted _backwards,_ the universe will be unmade {The Discworld series, by Terry Pratchett.} DZF-0002 The True Name of God Written on the pages of this indestructable book, the name of God grants the speaker complete control over reality. The name can, of course, be unsaid {Warlock}. DKI An old fashined long-playing record According to the blurb on the dust jacket, it contains recordings of, among other things, Beethoven's Eleventh Symphony, and all of the Unfinished Symphony [[ What other nonexistant classical music should be on there? ]] DEI The backup tape archives from the "Terminator 2" lab This data can be used to recreate the silicon chip technology that was to give SkyNet sentience, and would allow for the creation of the Terminator line. DZF Chemical formula for Polywater Russian chemist Nikolai Fedyakin reportedly discovered a fourth state for water (neither liquid, ice, or vapor), which seemed to act as a polymer, forming an amorphous solid. It was theorized that if this substance was released into a large enough body of water, it would "seed" the water, transforming it into a slushy slime, wholly unusable. DZF A book entitled "To Serve Man" {The Twilight Zone} DZF A map to the lost Dutchman mine Discovered in the 1870s by an unknown miner, the map was confiscated and the location of the mine suppressed by the U.S. government after it was discovered that the mine sat on a vein so rich with gold that it would have wholly destroyed the gold standard. Since that date, the government has tried to seperate itself from any reliance on gold. DWW Plans for a time travel device A crate full of papers, computer disks, and models of a modified DeLorean sports car. Among the papers is a photograph of two men standing by a clock, dating back to 1888. DZF-9514 Area A Cabinet 60x60x100 Complete and unexpurgated works of Samuel Taylor Coleridge This cabinet contains the handwritten originals of all of Coleridge's works. They are sometimes different from the commonly published versions, most notably in the case of "Kubla Khan." The cabinet holds the full 200-line version, the later parts of which expose secrets the GC wants hidden. A report on "Operation Porlock" tells how the censorship was accomplished, and is signed "D. Gently." {Douglas Adams, _Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency_} DZF The original plans are from the 12th century and written in French, by an author who makes vague references to various religious leaders and factions of the time. The plans have been refined in spurts over the centuries by other unnamed people, taking into account then-new developments, including a reference to stashing key items into a secret 'storage site.' The essence of the plans consist of obtaining control of the major commercial suppliers of food and energy, then manipulating availability through price control and collusion with other corporations and groups. DZF Notes on the Intel-Pentagon 1086 agreement. In 1971, the Pentagon approved the declassification of the so-called 1086 chip, invented by Intel. The company was to revolutionize the computer industry, but instead, it sat on the design, choosing to release the chip in increments, in order to make money on upgrades. DZF Chess Algorhythm On one sheet of A4, the simple description of how to always win a game of chess playing white, signed by B. Fisher. DZF Location of a Shipwreck. This ship, recovered in the Atlantic, is believed to have been part of a secret deal struck between the Confederacy and Great Britain during the Civil War. It supposedly contained more than half a ton of gold bullion, sunk by a Union frigate. DZF Invasion Plans "Grenada: War to Save Christmas" revealing that Reagan's joke was nearer the truth than anyone could know; DZF "Jerry Lewis: The U.S. Plot to Control France"... DZF "The Falklands War" This thick dossier begins with the results of a geological survey that indicates an oilfield beneath the islands that would put OPEC to shame. Before this information could be generally released, threatening the stability of OPEC, several German nationals who had entered Argentina in the post war era decided to play the various factions against themselves, hoping to start their own little war. DZF Secret gov't documents which show the pyramids at Giza were NOT built with the help of aliens DEH Instructions stored on a CD-ROM disk on how to build the main gun on the SDF-1 (2,000,000d6 DAM, 1 mile wide, 1 mile high, 100,000 miles long) {Robotech} DZF Photographs and schematics of the lost or destroyed 6 wonders of the world Six of the seven wonders are though lost to man. These photographs and satellite imaging systems seem to indicate that at least three are still intact, while some sort of attempt was made in the 1930s to rebuild the other three at their precise location. DZF A map to where the Tuatha de Daanan live DZF A book on how every part of the brain is used and works Written on pages spattered with blood and cranial fluid, the notes seem to have been written in the 1890s, by an unknown doctor. DZF A map to where all the kingdoms of the elves and faeries live in the British Isles. Some of these sites were the training ground for Americans preparing for the D-Day assault. DZF A map to/of Oz DZF A map to the palace of the Queen of Sheba DZF a scroll on how the dragons of Turis implement transdimensional/ galactal/time warps to get where they need to go DZF An indestructible, unopenable book that contains the Secret of Life with these words on the cover: Do you have the key? DZF Documentation on the last days of Poe DZF Documents and architects' notes that show the center garden area of the Pentagon is actually a daemon trap. Notes scrawled in margin refer to this plan as the "Doom Contingency." (Illuminatus! trilogy, as well as other sources) D SJG Raid Evidence The hardware and files that were never returned to Steve Jackson Games after the Secret Service raid. {Source: True.} DZF Government documentation on the secret behind the monoliths on Easter Island and how they can be used to take over the world DZF Map to/of Wonderland DZF Map to/of Turis DZF NASA's blueprints to build folding mechanisms into the Discovery and Atlantis (Robotech idea) DZF Nazi documentation on what happened to the gold supposedly stowed aboard the Lorilei DZF Photographs of a Zentraedi battleship (Robotech) DZF Secret NASA records that show Middle Earth was Venus DZF A detailed map of Eden (located in Russia, natch) DZF A map of the United States, with two transparent overlays: One shows "ley lines" -- magical lines of power -- crisscrossing the nation. The other shows the Interstate Highway System -- and the two are line-for-road identical. (Original) DZF A report on the Roanoke colony, in Virginia, which disappeared overnight without a trace many centuries ago. (Or, perhaps, a meaning for the word CROATAN which was carved into a tree there...) DZF A map of time vorticies. {Time Bandits} DZF A text about flouridation and its true effects on the mind. DZF A large box containing Seven ancient scrolls, each sealed with wax. The seal on the first scroll seems to have been broken (Revelation). DED A Mac SE hard disk containing plans for "Transparent Aluminum" {Star Trek IV} DZF A new Shakespearean Play DZF A large file should contain the complete biography of Comte de St. Germain. This man is noted as living as early as the sixteen hundreds and as late as the early nineteenth century. Who was this man, mover and shaker behind the scenes of European Politics for 3 centuries. This file should explain all. (This is not made up, he really existed - or did he ?) DZF Secret Land Grant This treaty, written on parchment is signed by President Grant, as well as four members of the Senate, giving several Native American tribes "complete and perpetual control" over vast areas of Texas and Oklahoma, precisely where oil was discovered. DZF A box full of scrolls- written in Aramaic. Box says "Gnostic II." [[ What was Gnostic I? Whose toes would I be stepping on by including this? ]] DZF A thick scrapbook, filled with photos, newsclippings and other papers, purporting to be a casebook concering the mysterious case of one Brad Majors and one Janet Weiss and their encounter with extraterrestrials. (Rocky Horror Picture Show.) DZF A Kirlean photograph of Stonehenge -- showing auras on all the stones, including the missing ones. Also includes detailed plans to replace the missing stones, in order to "see what happens." DZF A map of the city of Atlantis, showing its location. DZF A dossier holding extensive documentation on the paranormal attributes of the lead singer of the band "Satan's Night Out", who calls himself "Lestat"; the dossier includes a cassette tape of the band's debut album. (The Vampire Lestat) D A complete set of back issues of 'The Realist' magazine DEF A CD containing the binary image of the Artifical Personality "Max Headroom" DZF A quick, fool-proof algorithm for de-encrypting the DES. DZF A short mathematical proof that the travelling salesman problem can be solved in polynomial time. DZF A crate full of assorted crank pamphlets, annotated by someone who knows which ones were accurate. Found in an abandoned apartment in Soho. Several annotations appear to be written in blood. DZF A near-complete copy of "the Red Book of Westmarch" This book is written on what appears to be fine vellum, though the large number of pages indicates that either vellum was much more accessible than currently believed, or else the author was very rich. Rudimenary translations of the script indicate that this book describes a quest cycle of some sort, focusing not on great heroes, but rather the common folk and their struggles. The language, while sharing many characteristics with other medieval and pre-medieval scripts, seems to be wholly unique. It recounts the tale of the family Baggins, and their family heirloom. DZF A copy of the *true* agenda of the Trilateral Commission. The Trilateral Commission is a shadowy organization that poses as a think tank. It is comprized of some of the most far thinking people on the planet, all experts in their field. Their supposed goal is to work as one, seeing if they cannot anticipate change. In fact, these carefully laid out theories are in fact blueprints for the destiny of humanity. DZF The Lamentable Comedy of the Virgin Queen A new Shakespearean play, discovered during the war, it portrays Queen Elizabeth I as anything but a virgin. Banned in its time, it was felt that its disclosure would shake Britan's faith in its monarchy. Due to recent developments, however, this play may yet see the light of day. DZF A map showing where the Time Tunnel desert base's drive-in door is located. DZF A forty-two-line computer program in Ada for factorising the products of two large primes in a short time. DZF a short mathematical proof that P does, in fact, equal NP (i.e., proof that any problem which can be solved at all can be solved in a reasonable period of time: which proof can, in fact be used to solve any soluble problem in a reasonable period of time)! DZF De-encryption of Pi When Pi is calculated in Base 11, a series of 1's and 0's emerge, which forms a message. It has been conjectured that this "cosmic note" was left by the Creator, to be found at some later date. (Contact, by Carl Sagan) DZF Library Manifest One of the few relics that survived the fire at Alexandria, this list of 56 or so tomes were those that were borrowed by various scholars when the library burned. Although none of them exist in their current form, several titles hint at a future greatness borrowed from this earier time. DZF 'Necronomicon' Found in the ruins of a castle in England, this book is written on pages made of human skin, with a hellishly red ink that seems to conform to human blood. The leather cover comes from an animal unknown to modern science. DZF Journals of the Subgenius An entire (locked) filing cabinet filled with typed pages, photos and tapes, labelled "Dobbs, J.R. ("Bob")". (Church of the Subgenius) DZF An F-15's gun-camera recording of a dragon in flight, taken over the Cascade Mountains in the late 1970's. Found in the wreckage of said plane. DZF Protocols of the Elders of Zion An original, true copy of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, with annotations indicating how it was to be perverted for general release. In fact, the Elders of Zion worked for the betterment of the human race, against the insidious actions of the Bavarian Illuminati. DZF Application for admission and course catalog from Illuminati University. DZF Bacon's Diary This is the personal journal of Roger Bacon, wherein he mentions his new project of ghostwriting plays, substantiating the claim that it was he who wrote Shakespeare's plays. DZF Bibles Copies of the "Bugger all" and "Thou Shalt" bible, as well as a single edition of a bible that expands on the first chapter of Genesis. {Good Omens} DZF Birth certificate This certificate belongs to Kaspar Hauser, a strange German boy who appeared one day, showed intelligence well above the average, and was found with a dagger in his back one snowy day, laying in a field, with a single set of footprints (presumably his own) leading to the body. DZF Death certificate Ambrose Bierce's death certificate, from the Mexican government. Cause of death: is listed as either clawed to death by 'a bear or other large creature.' This has been scratched out, and "death by gunshot wounds." appended. DZF Book The Nice and Accurate Prophesies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. An uncannily accurate book. {Good Omens} DZF Branched DNA Data on radical and dangerous recombitant DNA proceedure, as well as sample and folder marked, "Scully, D." {X-Files} DZF Clay Shaw's Confession New Orleans District attorney Jim Garrison managed to link Clay Shaw, a prominent business man, to the assassination of the president. In this tape recording, Shaw finally breaks down and confesses it all. Before this tape could be overheard, however, it disappeared, and Shaw developed a new resolve to keep silent. DZF Collection of Books The complete works of Sutter Crane, as well as a 1850s map showing the location of Hob's Cove, New Hampshire. (In the Mouth of Madness) DZF Complete contact info for the Banzai Institute for Strategic Thought {BBAt8D} DZF Crate of Books A crate containing several hundred copies of GURPS: Wraith and GURPS: Changeling. DZF Data on Eve Project Various files containing information about a eugenics program run in the 70's - early 80's. Program was shut down, and participants destroyed or dispersed. {X-Files} DZF Directions to Midian. Located somewhere in Northen Minnesota, Midian seems to be a Necropolis, a huge graveyard extending for several square miles in all directions. In fact, there is a city beneath the Necropolis, where a offshoot of the human race is said to dwell. {Nightbreed} DZF Directions to Yauknapataupha county Yoknapatawpha County is a fictitious county in Mississippi, the setting of various stories and novels by William Faulkner. In truth, Yauknapataupha county does exist, though its area is taken up by a variety of adjoining counties. It is where government agents go to retire. DZF DNA analysis of the Moon. As reported in the Weekly World News, the Moon is actually the skull of a GIGANTIC, dead space-creature. The main reason for the Apollo project was to obtain samples of the creature's bone and freeze-dried skin. DZF Autopsy report on Jim Morrison Accoriding to the official report, Morrison was found dead in his bathroom, presumably from a drug overdone. In this autopsy report, the singer's head had been removed by a sniper's bullet. DZF Film footage of a tactial nuclear weapon used in Desert Storm. Precisely which side fired the weapon remains unclear. DZF Chemical analysis of fluoridation. The text, of course, reveals that it's completely harmless. DZF Formula 7x. Chemical formula for the secret additive that makes Coca-cola number one in the world. The report denies its addicitive qualities, but several "bottle rings" on the report indicate great quntities were drunk during the testing. DZF Genome Human Genome data, ten years before official completion. In addition, notes about various other, non-terrestrial genomes, which include two new bases. {X-Files} DZF Proposed Partition of former Yugoslavia This map was composed by the NSA, to test whether or not their map design algorhythms would work. Much to their surprise, it not only generated a map completely agreeable to all parties, it also managed to violate the 4-colo r theorem of topology. DZF Naturalist text This is a translation of the Voynich Manuscript, a bizarre medievial manuscript written in an unknown cipher. It indicates an understanding of biology on the microscopic level fully five centuries before such a device existed. DZF The Complete Gemstone Files An intensely complex conspiracy theory involving synthetic gems, the Mafia, the government, assassinations and every sort of mayhem. Catalogued as an excellent example of how conspiracies can spontaneously merge into "megaconspiracies." DZF Vulcan A lost symphony from the composer Gustav Holst, it completed his Planets series. The tune was so deep and spiritual it is said that those who hear it in performance are filled with a suicidal melancholia, as they long to reach this near-Eden. DZF Information on contacting the Wandering Jew Thought to be a figure from folklore, the Wandering Jew is condemned to remain alive until Jesus of Nazareth returns to earth. Within his possession is the absolute proof in the existenece of God, as well as an agent that will not die on an assignment. DZF Information on contacting the Incredible Mr. Limpet. Mr. Limpett was the code name for an American who transformed into a fish during WW II, and used this misfortune to organize various sea creatures to fight on the side of the allies. After ten years of service, he retired. Science at the time realized that he had not aged in that interim. DZF Repossession Notice Large stack of "Final Notice" bills from the French gov't regarding the Statue of Liberty. It was in fact a loan, and not a gift. DZF Lizzie Borden's confession to the murders In a chilling ten page confession, Lizzie Borden describes reading a book about the "God of the Razor," an extradimensional entity that compelled her to kill her parents. Duing the interview, she rattled off phrases that were later identified as a form of Sumerian. DZF LSD-M File containing information about insecticide LSD-M, and its effects on phobic minds. {X-Files} DZF Maps to caves in Ireland, where several spaceships (with markings in Gaelic) are kept. {The Copper Crown} DZF Minutes of all the meetings of the Bilderberg Society. (It's one of those political conferences that is a target of right-wing conspiracy-talk.) DZF Mission log of Apollo 17 According to the log, the spacecraft was intercepted by an extraterrestrial vehicle. The astronauts were taken aboard, and chided for forgetting the lesson of Apollo 13, a "message" from the aliens. The alies then informed the astronauts that any humans who travel beyond the LaGrange points will be summarily executed. DZF Murphy's biography. An unpublished autobiography detailing the life and hard times of one Ishmael Murphy, the unluckiest man alive. Several of the worst disasters of his time can be directly linked to his presence and actions. DZF NASA office note about refusing collect call from a Will Robinson. {Lost inSpace} DZF Notes on several mutants Complete medical run-downs, including DNA comparisons, on a part man/ part fluke, a known IRA terrorist who has displayed miraculous regenerative abilities, and Tooms, an extremely old mutant who can subsist exclusively on human liver}. DZF Original manuscripts of the four Gospels, which differ *significantly* from the versions found in the Bible. DZF Missing pages Pages torn out of a diary belonging to one "Laura Palmer" {Twin Peaks} detailing the workings of two organizations, the "black and white lodge," amongst other torrid details. DZF Notes including tape recordings A complete copy of Special Agent Dale Cooper's notes about his investigation of Twin Peaks, WA, including several auido tapes to a cryptic figure known only as Diane. DZF History of Calculus - Newton Papers which show conclusively that Newton invented Calculus, and that Liebnitz copied all of his work. Also, advanced annotations indicating where Newton got it wrong. DZF History of Calculus - Liebnitz Papers which show conclusively that Liebnitz invented Calculus, and that Netwon copied all of his work. Also, advanced annotations indicating where Liebnitz got it wrong. DZF Pi - Solved A listing of pi which gets to a long stretch of ones and then ends. DZF Plans for the "Wildfire" research station. Despite several test bans, the United States has seen fit to develop the premier ABC lab for the development of biological weapons. Project Wildfire is located soemwhere in the Southwestern United States, and a 1 megaton nuclear bomb in its central core ensures that its secrets will remain so. {Andromeda Strain} DZF Digital Communication Printout of the very first message sent successfully from one site to another on the Arpanet. Thirty years after the fact, no researcher present recalls precisely what that message was. DZF Medical research Research on using salamander DNA to help regrow human limbs {X-Files} DZF Identity of Deep Throat Key evidence blowing the lid off of the Watergate scandal was revealed to Woodward and Bernstein by a shadowy informant calling himself, "Deep Throat." The precise identity of this figure remains a mystery for a variety of reasons, but theories range from Alexander Haig, a nameless secretary, to Nixon himself, overcome with guilt. Something else which could be in the warehouse is evidence revealing the identity of Woodward's source, Deep Throat. (Nixon himself? Woodward himself? Elvis?) DZF Evidence of xenobiology Sonargrams of a 300' tall saurian creature, and a map of its migration route through the Pacific seabed. If it continues in its current path, it should reach Tokyo, Japan in about 3 months. DZF Source code for various artificial intelligences These files include the code for ME, P1, HARLIE, HAL, and the Computer. All are stored for future analysis. DZF {?} Tabulature of the Lost Chord DZF The formula used by Mr Elvesham to swap souls. {H.G. Wells} DZF The Defendant's Answer to the Complaint in _Mayo v. His Infernal Majesty Satan, His Minions, et al_. Plaintiff Mayo sued Satan for breech of contract. Case was dismissed not on basis of frivolity, but because there was no showing that proper service of the Complaint had been made upon the Defendant. In fact, the day this case was dismissed, a file appeared on the judge's desk, smellign strongly of brimstone. DZF Schematics for bionic parts This crate contains information on how to build or repair various synthetic human parts. It also has several spares, as well as gear to affect repairs. (Six Million Dollar Man and Woman) DZF The Great Virus of '29 A relic of the Undertaking, this computer virus was unleashed upon the world in 2029, and killed a great many computer users who were testing the new neural interfaces. In less than three hours, it brough the world to its knees, before it was isolated and destroyed. The Coalition was prepared to unleash said virus if the secrets of the Warehouse ever came to be known. DZF The REAL second and third books of Das Kapital, before Engels re-wrote them. DZF The home address of Dr. Angus McAran Dr. *Angus* McAran is the inventor of a time machine used by the Warehouse in the Great Undertaking. He would be frequently consulted while in the process of building the very time machine they were using. {Warlock Series} DZF Photographs taken circa 1950 that shows a topless Queen Elizabeth II that was to run on the Sun's page 3 in 1984. DZF Psychotronic Weaponry The CIA's report on Psychotronic Weaponry, with the Soviet's explaination to what happened to Nixon and Carter, as well as the death of Brezhnev, Andropov, Chernenko, and the meteoric rise to power of one Mikhail Gorbachev, who happened to be head of the KGB when the research was being done. {The Power} DZF Audio Tapes These recordigs contain a conversation between an interviewer and a person claiming to be Louis, a 300 year old vampire. Sound analysis date this tape to San Francisco in the late 1970s. DZF The complete transcripts from the Apollo 13 mission, detailing the fact that the mission's true purpose was to photograph a Venusian base on the far side of the moon. The entire explosion story was cooked up as a diversion. DZF The two lost Silmarils DZF Directions to Xanth Found in the Florida Everglades, the lost land of Xanth is accessible through a variety of localized time distortions. This notebook contains notes about the land, as well as its flora and fauna. DZF The true history of Ozymandias Found on an inscription inside a Babylonian tomb, the history of this king was suppressed when it was disovered that he was in fact a refugee of an alien race, whose existence on earth was wiped out by his race. DZF The *real* autopsy report for Abbie Hoffman. Hoffamn was killed by the CIA after they discovered he had evidence implicating the Republican in the October Surprise, and was to turn this information over to Amy Carter. DZF The Dracula Tapes This is a sequential series of reel-to-reel tapes on which Vlad Tepes (a.k.a. Dracula) tells _his_ version of the events which were novelized by Bram Stoker. A good listen, by the way, notable if for nothing else than Dracula's making the point that _of course_ Lucy died "despite" the blood transfusions that Dr. Van Helsing gave her: the quack was giving her blood from three different donors nearly a decade before blood typing was discovered! {From the novel of the same name by Fred Saberhagen; } DZF The identity of the sixth and seventh spies in Kim Philby's "Ring of Four" The famous ring of four was actually ring of five, and the fifth spy went on to head MI5, according to some. The sixth and seventh both went on to head opposing intelligence agencies, and played their private little war games with the entire world. DZF The financial records of Stemple's Mill, Seattle, Washington - signed "Ishmael Marx" Records left by an amnesiac alien, perhaps lost in time. Blood found on the paper indicate a heavy concentration of copper, giving the hemoglobin a greenish tint. {From Barbara Hambly's science fiction/western novel _Ishmael_, the only professionally published Star Trek/Here Come the Brides crossover story in captivity. Damned good read, too. "Ishmael Marx" was the pseudonym that an amnesiac Spock, stranded in the Oregon Territory in 1869, used while working for and living with Aaron Stemple, owner of Stemple's Mill and the only man who knew that "Ishmael" wasn't human (would've been hard for him not to notice, since he was the one who found the unconscious Spock, battered and leaking green blood). The ultimate inside-joke gag is that in the tv series, Aaron Stemple was played by Mark Lenard, who also played Sarek, Spock's father, in the original Star Trek series, a few movies and a few Next Generation movies.} DZF Aramaic inscription The disclaimer page of the Bible - "This work is fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental..." DZF The complete notebooks of Karl Kolchak (current whereabouts unknown). Kolchak, a reporter for the Chicago Planet, stumbled upon a variety of supernatural phenomena across the country, from headless motorcyclists to swamp monsters. {Speaking of "The Night Stalker," Karl Kolchak was the reporter/hero of that tv-movie, the later tv-movie "The Night Strangler" and the later one-season tv series "The Night Stalker." Considered by many to be the spiritual godfather of "The X-Files," "The Night Stalker" depicted Kolchak's adventures as he investigated, encountered, battled, and usually defeated (or at least fought to a draw) a variety of paranormal entities, never coming away with the evidence that would convince anyone that he wasn't a raving lunatic.} DZF Suppressed Material The 500 pages the Wilson and Shea had to 'edit' out of the "Illuminatus! Trilogy" in order to get it published. It contains methods to verify most of their outrageous claims. DZF The meaning of Stonehenge Far from being a crude calendar to time the seasons, Stonehenge served as a focal point for vast cosmic forces. A person, properly prepared, could stand in the center, and literally move mountains. DZF The meaning of the Nazca lines These marks in the desert, visible only from the air, are elaborate hex runes, inscribed to prevent invasion by otherworldly forces, or more precisely to indicate ownership of the earth. D The boundary signs of the Bermuda Triangle One of the fruits of the great oceanic survey, the precise location of the triangle allowed the government to avoid one of the nastier reality vortexes the planet has created. Over time, however, the Triangle shows signs of expanding northward. DZF Lunar photos Taken from the soviet equivalent of the Warehouse, these photograph are from a lunar probe, one of the first to land on the moon. The grainy picture shows a sedate lunar landscape, with a Union Jack in the foreground. DZF Music Two large reel-to-reel audio tapes, labelled "Leaves of Grass" and "A Season in Hell", attributed to "Eddie Wilson and the Cruisers." ("Eddie and the Cruisers", book and movie, respectively.) DZF Fate of the Dakkar The Dakkar was an Israeli submarine that disappeared without a trace in 1964. Sonargraphic record indicate that the Dakkar was last seen near a submerged island which the local natives called Ry'leh. DZF Several Tomes A "true and complete history of the Bavarian Illuminati", similarly volumes for the Rosicrucians and the Order of the Golden Dawn. These are held in a strongbox secured with a magnetic lock, and a internal incindiary device to deter theft. DYY-0019 Area 'A' Crate 25x20x10 Man Cookbook This crate contains a large book, bound in a lightweight black metal, and a set of notes. The cover of the book reads "To Serve Man" in large Sans Serif text. The inside of the book contains about a hundred pages, covered in a runic language unknown on Earth. The notes mention that the book is a cookbook for the preparation of food dishes using humans as the main ingredient. The first three recipies have been translated in the notes; from them, it may be possible to translate the rest of the text. {"To Serve Man," The Twilight Zone} DZF-0017 A home movie of a girl and three older women having a picnic on a grassy knoll as men in suits dump guns into bags. {Maniac Mansion series pilot} DZF-0021 Documents on the BCCI, S&L and contra connection DZF-9615 A series of files containing the memos and written agreements between the government and the large oil companies to restrain the development of automotive fuel efficiency technology to a rate mutually beneficial to both (the oil companies release new widgets often enough to make lots of money on the "new" improvements, which have in fact been around since the thirties, but not so fast that the government loses its control over the world oil supplies). DZF-0096 CIA reports on their drug running operations A covert faction of the CIA has seized control of several key drug cartels (the ones you don't hear about in the papers), and are trying to get the Gold standard replaced with a Drug standard). DZF-0022 The Necronomicon by Abd al'Azrad This is a book describing spells, gods, and monsters, occasionally covered in human (or worse...) skin, of course. Original title Kitab Al'Azif, Book of the Howlings of Desert Demons or Djinn, in Arabic. Translated into Greek, Latin, English, as Necronomicon. DZF-0029 Santa Claus's security clearance application materials Santa was only granted a low-level security clearance due to clear communist tendencies, evidenced by his giving away of toys, and his propentisity to wear red. Also here are the police reports from every movie in which Santa has ever been arrested or investigated, which run the gamut from "A Miracle On 34th Street" to "The Santa Clause". DZF-0019 Documents on the Iran/Contra connection DZF-0057 Area 'A' Crate 120x60x60 Atlas of Lost Places This box contains accurate maps (ranging from ancient parchments to satellite photos) showing the real routes to various semi-mythical places. (The GM should pick a few of favorite imaginary places, such as Atlantis, Lemuria, or North Dakota.) DZF Included here arethe director's cut of the film "The Canadian Conspiracy", which includes much more substantial proof of the Canadian Government's plan to infiltrate and subvert the U.S. entertainment industry from within. DZI-0016 Secret Kennedy Kidnapping Film A film reel of the JFK 'assasination' taken from close by, and in front of, the main procession. The film clearly shows Kennedy being shot from the front, but with a strange dart. It also reveals that bodies were switched within a second of JFK collapsing. The film case is marked with a CIA file number, and the words TOP SECRET. DZI-0003 Area 'A' Crate 30x20x20 "Alpha Complex" Controller Software This crate contains numerous 9-inch magnetic computer tapes, and documentation. It is the complete computer software system for "Alpha City," a proposed computer-controlled underground human residence/warren for several million people. The "Alpha Complex" software is composed of numerous subcontrol software systems, as well as databases on day-to-day operations and a personality engram. The final page of the documentation mentions final "minor debugging" that needs to be done with the software, including removal of paranoid delusions in the personality engram. {Paranoia} DZF-3595 Area 'A' Cabinet 45x45x120 The Presley Files These files prove that Elvis Presley really was an undercover drug agent, and after his disappearance the U.S. government began recruiting Elvis-lookalikes to replace him. Ninety percent of the Elvis impersonators in Los Vegas are actually there to spy on the Mob, and file reports with Elvis Command, a secret bunker underneath Graceland. The box also contains some Elvis Agent gear, including a wig, a bulletproof white jumpsuit, and a grenade disguised as a fried chicken leg. DZF Account of the life of Sherlock Holmes This monograph, related to Dr. James Watson, his companion, related precisely how he survived the fall over Marienbaden falls. EEE Evidence Object is evidence supporting a theory or claim E Hard Drive A Macintosh hard drive containing the original "lost" colored art for the Assassins expansion to the Illuminati: New World Order card game. The drive _appears_ to have crashed unrecoverably. {Source: True.} EIY-0098 Fragments of metal from Amelia Earhart's plane and a lab report. The lab report indicates that the metal fragments were from the wing tips of Amelia Earhart's plane, and were found on a desert island. Analysis shows the pieces were subjected to great amounts of stress along a single axis. Residual traces of unusual energy patterns were also found. The report concludes that Amelia's plane was either caught in the tractor beam of a flying saucer, or fell through a dimensional rift. EBY-0602 [OOPS] A fosilized Dinosaur bone with a bullet imbeded in it. EXY-0107 A set of moon rocks that beep when exposed to moonlight (from an episode of "Green Acres"). EZH-0017 Collected JFK evidence from the National Archives. All testimonies, photographs and lab reports which lent doubt to the official story of the JFK assasination were collected and stored here. Contents include the complete Zapruder film, the Director's cut of Oliver Stone's JFK, as well as a tape-recorded interview with a witness who saw quite distinctly a plume of smoke coming from the grassy knoll. EIY-0008 D. B. Cooper paraphenalia Includes an empty money bag, a parachute, and a high-quality latex mask of D. B. Cooper's features. D. B. Cooper was the first person to try highjacking a plane for money. (His actual name is unknown; the name he gave when buying the plane ticket was "D. B. Cooper".) It was back around 1970; he got into the cockpit with a gun and demanded $250,000 and a parachute. He got the money and chute at Seattle, and somewhere between Seattle and Portland, Oregon he went out the emergency escape in the tail of the plane. He has not been seen since. Some of his money was found back in the mid-80's in a bag by a lake in the forests of southern Washington, and so many folks think it likely that he did not survive his jump (the 727 was flying rather high and fast for the kind of jumping he would have had to try), but D. B. himself, and over half the money, is still missing. D.B. Cooper's actions fuelled a decade of hysteria about skyjacking which was useful in the plans of various government agencies. Putting a face on Cooper would have demystified the whole proceedure. EIY-0012 The Czar's missing crown jewels Some Russian nationalists still seek any survivors of the Communist purges. Such an heir, couples with these Crown jewels, could very well unite a nation torn by economic strife. ECI-0023 [OOPS] A mangled T800 arm The arm was discovered smashed in the gearworks of a steel foundry sometime in 1994. Its design indicates a level of complexity not in synch with current cybernetic research. (Terminator 2). ENA-0001 A rough ingot of steel [OOPS]This is the steel that the T1000 fell into. It contains a few isolated pockets of nanomachines that had managed to build insulating barriers. The n-agent clusters are probably too small to show any collective intelligence. {Terminator 2} EIY-0017 Debris from Flight 19 Flight 19 was a squadron of five Avenger torpedo-bombers which set out for a routine training mission from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Despite clear skies and an experienced flight leader, the planes disappeared completely. Radio operators on the ground report receiving intermittant signals from the lead plane, informing them that their compasses were spinning, and that they would attempt to head toward the sun (which, at that time, would have been west). Further reports show that the leader did not recognize what should have been familiar terrain. The last known recording was recieved right before they passed over the unfamiliar land. EIY-0023 [OOPS] Lump of coal with a spark plug in it. EIY-0049 [OOPS] Piece of sandstone with a dinosaur footprint overlaying a human footprint. EIY- [OOPS] A chunk of metal, of an unknown alloy Papers with it indicate that it is mildly radioactive, and that it was discovered in 1911 during an expedition to investigate the Tunguska blast. EOW The real Shroud of Turin Carbon dating place the shroud at a time compatible with the life of Joshua of Nazareth, and DNA extracted from the cloth, while difficult to extract, seems compatible with various proteins found in IDA-0034 [Holy Grail]. EZF The Marylin Monroe Diaries The American actress Marylin Monroe was found dead in her apartment, two weeks after claiming to one friend that she had sufficient evidence to blow the cover off of the UFO secret. Ms. Monroe's proximity to powerful figures not only in Hollywood, but also givernment and organized crime, indicates that she was in a position to learn a great deal of damning information. EWW The "sets and costumes" that were used to film the Apollo Moon Landing. EZF The real contents of Al Capone's Vault. For decades, people have conjectured what kind of damaging materials the mob held over Hoover to prevent his investigation. That evidence was safeguarded, along with the bodies of two prominent federal agents, in Capone's secret vault. EEH Things left behind by the Enterprise crew from ST IV, including most of the contents of Chekov's pockets. This includes a crude, non-functioning Klingon phaser and a communication device, also damaged. EEF All the AV recordings made of the Mothership from Close Encounters EZF Records detailing what REALLY happened on the Hindenberg Theorietically, the Hindenburg could have housed Nazi spies, and were taken out in a pre-emptive strike. Or, perhaps a journalist caught wind of the Final Solution, and the entire craft was destroyed to silence him. EZF A set of photographs of a tall (6'3"), muscular man wearing sunglasses. Some appear to have been taken at a police station, the rest at a mall. {Terminator and Terminator 2} EZF Deadmeat's Notes "Deadmeat" had notes on the Kennedy assassination as well as environmental miracles and a cure for cancer. He took them with him on a mission practice flight and crashed. Miraculously, he survived, but died in the hospital. {Hot Shots} ECI T-800 arm [OOPS] Discovered in a steel foundry. Electronic components are clearly visible, but are damaged beyond recovery. Notes indicate that analysis of the metal itself reveals that the material is of a composition previously unknown, a blend of five different alloys and substances, including one that remains unidentifiable. EZF The true secret behind Glastonbury Tor EZW The contents and the body of the pharaoh in the Great Pyramid. The pyramid at Cheops is the last of the seven wonders still intact. It stands as a marvel of human engineering and determination. As the final resting place of the pharaoh, it failed miserably. The tomb was thought looted centuries before, but a secret chamber housing the true burial area was accidentally discovered in 1925. The warehouse became involved when the egyptologist used unscrupulous means to transfer the goods into the country. This trail led the realia to the front door of the Warehouse, which was then compelled to bury the discovery entirely, lest its secrecy become violated. EBY A real, live unicorn EZF A copy of the US Government's treaty with the aliens known as the 'Greys', allowing them to kidnap random humans in exchange for some of their technology. EZY A wall with a tennis ball partially embedded in it. {?} EDY A pillar of salt in the shape of a woman (Mrs. Lot) {Bible, Genesis} Located in the vicinity of the dead sea, roughly 4 km from an area saturated with unknown types or radioactivity. EOP Wreckage from Cyclops A lifeboat and other lifesaving gear, much of it stenciled with the name "USS Cyclops" was found in the vicinity of the Bermuda Triangle. Written on one of the life preservers is the notes of the first mate, as he describes his final days, when the sky turned green, and strange, alien creatures took small bites from the boat, only to swim away a moment later. EZF A copy of the Chinese Government's treaty with the aliens known as the 'Greys', allowing them to kidnap random humans in exchange for some of their technology. EZF A documented and verified photo of Kilroy. Gerald Kilroy was the most prolific vandal in the history of mankind. In his several sojourns around the planet, he left his name in so many places that legends so grew up about his ubiquity. EBY White Buffalo Several specimens of white buffalo, all stuffed. Note tacked to one of them, detailing plans to steal and kill the one recently born in Wisconsin. The birth of which has supreme spiritual significance to many Native American tribes - it's their equivalent to the Second Coming. EZF A copy of the USSR Government's treaty with the aliens known as the 'Greys', allowing them to kidnap random humans in exchange for some of their technology. EOE A form-fitting, full-head mask of a latex-like plastic, complete with wig. The face of the mask is human. Accompanying it is a bust with a face cast from the *inside* of the mask -- a scaly, snouted, reptilian face. (from "V") EXY A long pole about 10 feet high with an eagle atop it. Documents show that this is the Eagle Standard of the Ninth Roman Legion. They say nothing about how the Eagle came into the Warehouse, or what happened to the Legion, which walked off the face of the Earth in AD 120. A close look at the pole shows blood all over it, which in not a surprise. A look at the Eagle does pose a shock, when one tries to figure out why there is both a spear head and a .45 cal bullet hole in one wing. EPH A Heechee prayer fan. {Gateway series} EXX Chips of some unknown alloy collected during Apollo missions While investigating a small crater, astronauts found small flakes of metal scattered about the hole, apparently the remains of some previous detonation. Whether this is extraterrestrial in origin remains unknown. EZF The Gold Thesis proved Definitive proof of the Gold thesis that states that petroleum, rather than being a diminishing resource, is instead replenished naturally by the earth, and that oil can be found anywhere if one digs deeply enough. EEI-3774 Area 'A' Crate 90x45x45 Tapes from Viking 3 Copies of the mission tapes from Viking 3, a secret multi- national project controlled by the Global Conspiracy. The US-designed probe was secretly launched from the Soviet Union, and landed on Mars at one of the alien bases used to launch the Grovers Mill Invasion. The base appeared to be abandoned; had the Martians been considered still dangerous, Viking 3 would have activated an on-board fission bomb to destroy the base. EPY-1229 [OOPS] Area A' Fossilized Coke bottle. {From David Gerrold's novel, _The Man Who Folded Himself_, mentioned in passing by the time-traveling narrator along with the comment "Well, I never said I was _neat_." (Note: it's been a _long_ time since I read the book, and I realize that glass doesn't fossilize, so maybe the exact reference was to a Coke bottle found embedded in ancient limestone or something. Still "fossilized Coke bottle" is the way it resonates in my memory.)} EYF Face of Mars Fully detailed photographs of "the face on Mars", taken from the Hubble Space Telescope during its "broken" phase, showing laser burns and such. EZF George Washington - Adam Wesshaupt Connection. George Washington's membership card for the Masons, along with several letters signed "George Washington" and "Adam Weisshaupt", and a memo signed by a graphologist claiming that both sets were written by the same person. EYF-0238 Area A' Wall Newspaper Headline Hanging on the wall, framed: The front page from a certain edition of the New York Times, circa 2004 or so, announcing in large-type headline the loss of the NASA spaceship Discovery with all hands. (Doesn't meet the normal this-is-too-secret-to-let-run-around-loose criteria for placement here, but hey, why should the folks who work in the Warehouse have to look at bare walls all the time?) {From a scene in a nursing home in _2010_, hanging on the wall near the bed of David Bowman's dying mother. The film's prop department actually did dummy up something for this shot, though I'd assume that all the type on it is garble except for the NYT masthead, the headline and the photos of Bowman (Kier Dullea) and, um, the other guy (Gary Lockwood).} ECL Green Meteorite Hollow Krypton meteorite, found in Smallville, USA. Cradle inside. EIM-5698 Area 'B' Crate 150x30x30 Wood from Noah's Ark This box contains a 1' thick, 4' long wooden beam, old, crumbly, and pretty much held together by ice. The block is a support beam from Noah's Ark that was retrieved from Mt. Ararat by a wealthy U.S. businessman, but confiscated by U.S. Customs at the border. (The Conspiracy ordered the beam confiscated because allowing too much proof of biblical events might give influence to religious leaders.) EXE Helen of Troy's Jewelry In the last century the archaeologist Schliemann discovered the site of Troy and excavated it. He found examples of treasure and jewelry. These items were photographed and kept in a museum in Berlin. They vanished in the fall of Nazi Germany and have never been traced. They are irreplaceable. Recently, clever forgeries have surfaced, and the GC is considering swapping the fakes for the originals, since nothing further can be gained from the deception. EPH Jack the Ripper's scalpel Taken from the final crime scene, it bears the fingerprints to the true killer. Why this was left behind remains unknown. EBY Judge Crater In 1931, Justice Crater, a New York Appellate judge on the way up, stepped into a cap and stepped off the face of the earth. Months of speculation concerning his demise ranged from being knocked off by various underworld figures to an anonymous death in a bordello, but the weight of evidence indicates instead that he walked too close with Tammany Hall, a notorious political machine that ran NYC in the first quarter of the century. His was the first "vanishing" of the modern era, and it tested the effectiveness of contemporary law enforcement strategies. In truth, Justice Crater came into possession of certain documents desired by the GC concerning Tammany's connection to occult forces. He thought that he could blackmail the collectors. He thought wrong. E Lee Harvey Oswald's Mannlicher-Carcano rifle. Tests run on this rifle, found in the book depository, indicate that the gun was not fired for at least a week, indicating that although his fingerprints are on the weapon, Oswald did not fire the shots that killed JFK. E DNA Reserve off the coast of Costa Rica This crate contains boxes of data, pictures, and bioengineering equipment liberated from a small island two days after it was firebombed by US military. The data contains enough information to reconstruct the experiment in splicing preserved dinosaur DNA into special fertilized amphibian eggs, creating a hybrid that will hatch as a dinosaur (but with a few surprises left from the amphibian.) The pictures consist of an exhaustive array of photographs showing a variety of freshly killed dinosaurs, apparently from several geological periods. Appended to this crate is a dossier discussing the spread of a previously unknown reptilian creature, engaged in livestock mutilation and widespread deforestation. The reports originate from a mainland dock where the island's supply vessel sits when not in use, and continue in a straight line into the mainland. Xenobiologists involved with the case indicate that the life forms are breeding at an alarming rate, and will soon encounter human settlements. E "Son of Sam" Exonerated David Berkowitz, the notorious Son of Sam, who killed six people in the area of New York City, claimed that his neighbor's dog was the medium through which the demons spoke, telling him to kill various people. A mere two years after he was convicted of these crimes, he held a press conference claiming that he had made it all up. Indeed, it was later discovered that the dog was a familiar, and his master was an Adept of the Black Arts, who needed the souls of Berkowitz's victims in his rituals. E SPECTRE Documents In the years following the second world war, several war profiteers and ex-Naz i officers realized that a great deal of money could be made while the world reeled in fear and chaos. Combining their forces, they created a terrorist organization bent on starting small wars, arming both sides, and watching them totally annihilate one another. They continued until they realized that money was only as valuable as the country that backed it, and that their ultimate plans involved leaving no single company intact enough. Instead of financial gain, the forces of SPECTRE twisted their aims to world domination, under the facade of financial extortion. E Sign Discovered over a mine shaft in the Po river valley of Italy, the brass plate bears an inscription that when translated, means, 'Abandon all hope, ye who enter here' {Inferno} E The British copy of the North American Treaty In 1915, when Britain was growing desperate for American existence in WW I, a secret treaty was drawn up, effectively selling Canada to the US in exchange for assistance in defeating the Triple Alliance. All three extant copies were mysteriously lost in transit, and before a new set could be drawn up, the Lusitania was sunk, and the Zimmerman telegraph was discovered, at last bringing America into the war. One copy found its way into the Warehouse. Since all the conditions of the treaty were met by the Americans, and signed by both sides, all it would take would be the approval of the Senate, and the treaty would be ratified. E The missing pages from the logbook of the Marie Celeste. The Marie Celeste, a fishing boat, was found adrift in the Atlantic in the 1800s. Those who found the boat discovered that it had been abandoned in a hurry - several plates of food lay half eaten. The excellent condition of the ship indicate that it wasn't in distress. The only evidence discovered was the captain's logbook, with the last ten pages ripped out. On the pages, the captain relates a slow descent into insanity, culminating in the crew's desire to join their brothers the dolphins. Blood found on these pages indicate that the choice wasn't entirely voluntary. E The Golden Fleece According to Greek Mythology, two children were rescued from captivity by a flying ram. After her brother was killed, the girl buried him, killed the sheep, and hung its shiny fleece on a tree, where it was guarded by a horrific dragon. A later myth describes the theft of the fleece by Jason and his band of followers, the Argonauts. E Artboard Several large sheets of artboard. The original, stolen art from _The Big Book Of Conspiracies_. {Source: True.} E The identity of Zodiac Zodiac was an ingenious serial killer who preyed on young victims in the San Francisco area in the late 60s - early 70s. He would send messages to the police in codes that stumped the best efforts of CIA and NSA cryptologists, until the code was cracked by a schoolteacher in Arizona. He filled his letters with insane ramblings about the ritualness of his crimes, and he planned each according to the stars themselves. Police list his official victims at six, but they may have been as high as fifty. Zodiac was never caught. According to the evidence, Zodiac was a killing machine employed by various shadow agencies, who covered their hired hits by allowing their agent to wander about, and do what he did best. E The notes of the doctors who examined ET According to the reports the creature had an advanced physiology with several seemingly redundant organs, as well as DNA with two differences in base structure. This explained why he was slowly dying -- his cells were dying naturally, but he couldn't find the material he needed to replace them. In addition, the notes discuss the symbiotic (and perhaps parasitic) relationship between the creature an a young boy named Elliot. {E.T.: The Extraterrestrial} E The stiff little finger from the hand of an Invader. {The Invaders} In the 1950s, an alien race calling itself the Invaders attempted to live up to their name, conquering the earth by insinuating themselves into our government and society, and working to change our world into one more hospitable to them. The only obvious difference between the Invaders and human beings was that their "pinkies" were not jointed. One such specimen resides here, as a means of identification. E The Crystal Lake Killer After Friday the 13th came out, evidence surfaced that the writer drew details from a series of bizarre and horrific killings occurring near a summer camp in Crystal Lake, New York. Further investigation points to a killer, an enigmatic figure that has lived most of its life in complete isolation. Any agents sent to investigate fail to return, no matter how well prepared or heavily armed. E NASA's Blue Box Unexpurgated tapes of US space missions (including encounters with UFOs, drilling into the Moon and finding metal, etc.) These are the remnants of the evidence unearthed during the Project Blue Book investigations. E Archaeological relics from Mu, Lemuria, Atlantis, Shangri-La, and Xanadu. These items were in a waterproof chest which washed up on the Oregon coast in the late 1940s, apparently the debris of a shipwreck. E Extraterrestrial Embryos Found in sets of six, each jar has an alien embryo floating in a suspension. {X-Files} EY?(F)- File containing a brief synopsis of a conspiracy to not let the average citizen learn anything more than basic math concepts, by teaching 'incorrect' math at higher levels of education. Most of the file is missing. EZY-0023 Area A Crate 100x100x75 Capstone of the Great Pyramid This is a pyramidal stone measuring 75cm along each side of the base and 50cm high. It masses 750kg, and so is probably on the floor. The capstone is made of a very hard rock, seemingly melted and caused to harden in its present shape. On the bottom (invisible while it capped the pyramid at Giza) is a series of metal lines resembling a UPC symbol, and some writing in an unknown script. Enclosed documents conclude the writing was cut in with a laser. {any number of space-god books} -- Timothy Toner ------ School Librarian ------ thanatos @interaccess.com Revenimus, MF! ŽóMŒã (1:íœ 2:•Û‘¶ 3:•ÔM 4:•ÔM{íœ 5:“]‘— 6:“]‘—{íœ E:I—¹) F2 1 INET GATE WID00100 96/03/12 14:58 ‘è–¼FWarehouse Part 2 Date: Mon, 11 Mar 1996 23:53:05 -0600 (CST) From: Timothy Toner Reply-To: thanatos@interaccess.com To: HFH00072@niftyserve.or.jp FFF Specimen Object is to be subjected to further investigation later FBY-0003 Area 'B' Crate 250x200x75 Dead Martians (3) Each of the Martian War Machines (see PCB-0107) had a crew of [[2??]] and after the crew had succumbed to Earthly diseases, the bodies were collected for examination. Three bodies were preserved for future research. The creatures consisted of three armed tripeds, with three digits on all extremities. Their three eyes were compound, and their skin was a mottled brown-to-scarlet. {War of the Worlds} FBY-1006 Area 'B' A caveman, as in the movie "Iceman" FBY-1007 Area 'B' A Mammoth, in a block of ice. It was eating what appears to be Twinkies at the time it froze. FBY-1008 Area 'B' A hideous alien frozen in ice. This is "The Thing" from the story by , and the movie of the same name. There are in fact two specimens, one a creature more vegetable than animal, the other consisting of a gel with metamorphic capabilities. Near the specimen are metal fragments, which are actual pieces of the saucer, as well as the magnesium flares that liberated the creature, found in the(Ant)arctic. {Short story, "Who goes there?"by John Campbell; movie, "The Thing from Outer Space."} FBY-1009 A collection of giant insects, ranging from an ant from Them!, the spider from Tarantula, and the giant Prey Mantis killed in the Holland Tunnel. FBY-1010 Area 'C' The Blob A great crystalline glop, clear red in color, about the size of a house. It is stored in a plexiglass case (inside the crate). From the movie "The Blob" FBY- Area 'C' A number of clear cylinders full of bubbling liquid, and parts of people and aliens. One container holds Hitler's brain. Another holds a creature from the movie "Aliens", in the face hugger shape. FBY-0901 A diorama contrasting the bodies of a Yeti and a Bigfoot. Both bodies are stuffed and mounted in 'lifelike' poses. FBY-0002 The skeleton of a Merman. FBY-0009 The skeleton of the missing link. Found alongside it are notes left by an unknown researcher, apparently a contemporary of Darwin, who discovered the find in a cave somewhere in Africa. FBY-0012 The Loch Ness Monster (stuffed) An excellent example of a pleiosaurus, thought to have perished sometime after the Jurassic period. Numerous sonar graphs included with the specimen indicate "pods" of these creatures floating far below the surface. FBA-0002 A sample of Xenovirus Takis-A In 1946, a spacecraft crash-landed in upstate New York. An alert and paranoid farmer killed the extraterrestrials, and captured the cylinder containing this virus, which was eventually turned over to the warehouse. The virus, which appears to be a red dust, comes as spores which reproduce only within homo sapiens sapiens, and all genetically compatible alien races. It possessed an aerosol vector, which allows it to be initially very contagious, but only in spore form. The virus is a highly complex recombinant DNA tool kit, taking the genome, and snipping and splicing in inherently random conformations. This randomness, however, seems anything but. Most who are affected (90%), carry the virus without any incident. Of the 10% who are infected, 90% pull the "Black Queen," which is catastrophic mutagenic transformation. The victim's DNA completely dismantles under the strain, and the host dies in agony. Of the 10% who survive, 90% pull a "Joker," and are hideously disfigured. Most live the rest of their lives shunned and feared. Those that survive the Black Queen, and do not become Jokers are called Aces, endowed with some superhuman metability. Most are mental powers, including strength augmentation through telekinesis. About half the Aces are Deuces, in that their powers are less than earth shattering (changing color at will, bending paperclips, etc.) Although result seems random, there is a method to the madness of the Wild Card. It seems inherently sentient in spore form, with the recombinant DNA responding to subconscious triggers. If one fears death, one will pull the Black Queen. If one fears disfigurement, one will pull a Joker. For those who have the mental stability and wherewithal, an Ace power awaits. {Wild Cards Anthology} FBY- Area 'C' Frozen Dinosaur Eggs, with documentation The documents encased with the egg are the reports of an expedition to Africa in 1982. There are pictures of what appear to be dwarf diplodocus' and a mention that the eggs were stolen from a nest. These may be samples from the Mokole Membe. FBY- Xenobiological Skeleton Winged skeleton found somewhere in Iran - Iraq. Next to figure was burning sword, which extinguished when touched. F?? Gizmo, the Mogwai {Gremlins} This biped is approximately 24 cm tall, covered in white and light brown fur, with large pointed ears and large eyes. A note next to the cage contains instructions (1) to keep specimen from sunlight (2) to keep specimen away from water and (3) never to feed specimen after midnight. Specimen tends to sing softly when alone. F?? A three-eyed fish Found in a pond which contains the run-off from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, the fish (named Blinky) was placed in the warehouse as a favor to a M. Burns by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. For some reason that the top scientists have been unable to determine, Blinky is actually a completely flat, Two-Dimensional organism. {The Simpsons} F?? A bottle of the "Andromeda strain" Virus. This biological agent, discovered as part of the Scoop Project, an attempt to collect meteorites that might have biological agents suspended on them, is exceedingly lethal to most vertebrates. It enjoys several vectors into the host organism, and quickly coagulates any and all blood in a matter of minutes. Fortunately it can survive in only a very limited range of pH. As it is foreign to earth, no organism possesses any sort of immunity. The organism seems to thrive on certain types of polycarbons, and the vial, which is all metal with a welded cap, bears a warning, "Do not store in plastic." F?? Crate A crate of seed pods from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" Discovered in a warehouse soon after the town was pacified by National Guard troops, who lobbed incendiary shells into the town. F Skeleton A note mentions that this is the REAL skeleton found at the Piltdown site. In the post-Darwin era, hundreds of anthropologists sought to uncover a direct fossil record from ape to man. A skeleton was found in a mine in Piltdown, but was debunked as a hoax. F??-???? The body of Paul McCartney Paul died during the height of the Beatles' popularity, so the government created a duplicate (android? clone? just a good look-alike?) which has masqueraded as Paul ever since. The remains of the original Beatle are kept here. Should it leak, this news would no doubt lead to speculation about the government's involvement in the formation of Wings. F A humanoid figure. At first glance, this seems to be an ordinary brown-haired Caucasian male, wearing a red jumpsuit and black sunglasses. On a second glance, the viewer notices that the Caucasian face is actually a mask of some sort. Half of the mask has been torn away, revealing a green-scaled reptillian face beneath it. {A "visitor" from the TV sci-fi series "V"} F* The real Einstein's brain. An attached note mentions that the brain that was believed to have been Einstein's, and subsequently dissected by neurological researchers, was actually that of one of the janitors of the Warehouse... {Reality-based} F Blood-bank-type bottle of blood. Label identifies it as "Type O+, Donor: Richards, Benjamin." Ben Richards was a genetic fluke, immune to every disease known to man _including aging_. He also healed from injuries at a vastly accelerated rate. A transfusion of his blood would give the recipient similar properties, but only temporarily. This made Mr. Richards a much-sought-after asset by a succession of at least two ruthless aging billionaires who felt that holding him in safe captivity was the key to their own immortality. {From the made-for-tv pilot movie for the one-season tv series, "The Immortal."} F Crypto zoological specimens In these cages are various live animals, trapped in a crude stasis field jury-rigged by the warehouse. Occasionally the field wavers in intensity, allowing a creature to make a sound. Samples include a dragon, griffon, manticore, pegasus, sphinx, hippogriff, and a Chinese dragon F* 2 stuffed fairies The fairies in question were captured by none other than Arthur Conan Doyle, who did so after being challenged by a contemporary to provide proof of his outrageous claims concerning the existence of such creatures. F* 2 live elves from the Seelie (Blessed) Court of Scotland The two elves went into a state of hibernation upon capture, presumably during the Great Undertaking. Motion sensors on their cell are set the go off the moment either awakens. F* A Glass Box This item contains a reddish brown substance with highly addictive psychotropic properties. Those who take it report a hundredfold increase in cognitive abilities, including the ability to manipulate objects in four dimensions. This allows for spatial warping, amongst other things. The box also contains a small card, stating that it is the spice melange (Dune) F* A container of protoculture This metal canister contains a non-renewing power source that when hooked to a mechanical device allows it to function beyond the limits of thermodynamics. Thus, gears will drive without heating up or fracturing from stress. While no better than a standard fuel cell, the energy allows the machines to run more efficiently. (Robotech) F* Flower bulbs, encased in glass This is a small glass container containing a few specimens of the Invid Flower of Life. According to reports, the bulb, when released, spontaneously attempts to flower. Magnetic fields can be employed to withstand this flowering. The flower resists with a combination of heat, light, and magnetic force. It is theoretically possible to harness the heat it puts out, and pump it back into the magnetic field in such a way that the flower puts out more energy than is brought against it. This energy, when collected, forms the basis of protoculture. (Robotech) F* Pieces from the SDF-1 (Robotech) Located by a GU team, this is the debris from a ship that crashed on Macross Island, located west-northwest of Hawaii, in the Pacific Ocean. No current maps chart this island, though seismologists indicate that volcanic activity may create one in the near future. F* a bean-sidhe (banshee) Captured with the Seelie, the Bean-side had a voice which reportedly presaged death. As a precautionary measure, the creature's vocal cords were severed while she hibernated. F Female Android This humanoid construct is dressed in a pink gown, with her left arm torn out of place. She looks remarkably like Olivia d'Abo. In the same crate is a stack of papers detailing a conspiracy to replace the wives of powerful men with androids, designed for complete obedience. {The Stepford Wives} F* JFK's brain Retrieved in Dallas, the brain was hastily traded with the victim of a single gunshot wound, to cover up the fact that it was riddled with bullets of varying calibers. F* Remains of Vlad Tepes This desiccated body, dressed in 19th Century fashion, still has a stake through its heart bearing a gold plate with the inscription, "Do not remove" in English, French, German, and Latin. F*the bush god(tm) burned in front of Moses Discovered somewhere in the Middle East, it appears to be a standard desert shrub, blasted by the elements. The edges of each branch are singed and weathered. If a branch is broken off and lit, the piece burns with an eerie green light that dispels shadows and compels those in its light to think and act clearly, without deception or confusion. F Stoppered Vial in Steel Insulated Case Inside this vial is a nasty biological weapon. The original strain of influenza from which it was derived was discovered in a bottle of wine sealed during the Influenza Outbreak of 1918. Cultured and strengthened, it was renamed Captain Tripps, as the fever it induces often unleashes hallucinogenic flashes, often of a religious nature. Communicability: 100%. Lethality: 99.9% (The Stand) F Kandor A miniature city inside a bottle, with a life-support mechanism hooked to the bottle's neck. A high-powered stereoscopic magnifier is pointed at the bottle; looking through this reveals that the city is inhabited by near-microscopic humanoids who possess a higher level of technology than Earth-normal. (From the old "Superman" comics) F Moth Man During the 1950s, rural police around America had to contend with the first UFO sightings, as well as reports of a humanoid, often over 2.25 m, with large wings and sharp talons. The "moth man," as it was called, would be attracted to the headlights of late-night motorists. It would swoop down, rip at the roof, and wither call of the attack suddenly, or else carry off the passengers. One such specimen was discovered in Rome, WI, killed, and brought to the Warehouse. F A frozen Fithp The Fithp were a race of elephant-like aliens who invaded the earth. Whether the invasion was successfully repelled, or if this is merely a relic of the Great Undertaking remains to be seen. {Footfall} F Devolved humans During the early 1980s, researchers tried to tap into the ancestral memories locked within the physical structure of our brains. Employing hallucinogenic drugs and sensory deprivation tanks, they not only tapped into these areas of the mind, but they also prompted a physical transformation into these forms. Several researchers became stuck in these forms, and were killed. Samples include neanderthalic humanoids and semi-tran sparent ameboid creatures that seem to ignore the square-cubed rule. {Altered States} F PKD-666 A sample of the drug PKD-666, which is capable of altering objective reality. (Anyone taking it thinks they've gone to Hell. Upon returning, one subject noticed the soles of his shoes were melted.) {from the comic book Misspent Youth, by David Ingersoll.} F Organic computer bug This microscopic organism feeds on certain silicon compounds, primarily those used to create semiconductor material. Such an organism would devour a computer from within. The scientists developing the organism were trying to see if it could assemble itself remotely, allowing itself to transmit across electrical lines. Before this work could be complete, one researcher apparently tried to sell the secret, and the project was purged.. F [OOPS] A Cylon Robot This particular specimen was discovered in a Nazi bunker at the end of the war. Damage to the unit indicates that it was brought down by the Germans themselves, who sought to take it apart, and learn its secrets. {Battlestar Galactica} F Xenomorph Pod A three-foot tall egg, with a cruciform opening in the top. Empty. Discovered near a small town in Northern California in 1955. Reports taken at the site indicate that the townsfolk successfully managed to neutralize the threat. {Alien} F Alien Environment Suit A Vorlon encounter suit, and photographs of what was inside it. (Babylon 5) F A triffid A xenobiological organism based roughly on human plant life, the triffids attempted to invade by first blinding the human populace with a "meteor storm" that in fact overloaded their optical nerves, rendering anyone who viewed it temporarily blind. Those who were naturally blind rallied, however, and discovered that the Triffids were vulnerable to sea water. (From the Day of the Triffids) F A piece of wood Bark or root reputedly taken from the Tree of the World "Yggdrasil." It is unknown at this time what would occur if the specimen is planted. F Scarf This is a 17-foot long wool scarf. Multicolored, it has a jelly baby stuck to one end. {Dr. Who} F Klaatu An 8-foot tall faceless silver android. If it ever moves, the label says to recite the words "Klaatu Barada Nikto". {The Day the Earth Stood Still} F Elder God This specimen, apparently dead, was discovered buried under 20 feet of ice. Next to it is a box of paperwork detailing the expedition to the South Pole funded by the Miskatonic Institute of Technology, that failed under mysterious circumstances, at a loss of several lives. F Briefcase, unopened MRI indicates that some form of plant material is stored within the aluminum-alloyed container. Discovered in an Invader cell after a raid. Precisely what these plants will grow into remains unknown. {The Invaders} F Viral Agent This vial contains a viral organism codenamed Satan. Developed by the British, this container alone contains enough of the virus to kill all human life in a matter of months. {From the novel _The Satan Bug_ by Alistair MacLean.} FBM- Tissue samples and a DNA strand from a werewolf. Studies indicate that certain key chromosomes are actually triploid. Precisely how cells reproduce is unknown. Taken from a dead specimen found in Montana. FBY-0901 Mechanical yeti acquired in the London sewers. {Doctor Who} FBY-0009 Area 'A' Crate 90x30x30 Peking Man Skeleton "Peking Man" was a _Homo erectus_ skeleton unearthed near Zhoukoudian, China in 1929, and was considered important evidence in favor of human evolution. After Japan invaded China, scientists moved the bones to Camp Holcomb (a U.S. Marine base in China) for safekeeping, but the Japanese captured the base the day before the bones were to be shipped to the United States. The bones disappeared that day, and have not been relocated. FBY- Area 'C' The gooey remains of a Gremlin (inside a sac suspended in the fluid {film series} FBY-1459 Area B Cabinet 100x60x150 Frozen blood and tissue samples from inhabitants of Innsmouth, Mass. This cabinet contains drawers full of vials containing blood, skin, and organ samples. Many of the skin samples appear to have scales. Most vials are labeled with names; common surnames include Eliot, Gilman, Marsh, Sargent, and Waite. An accompanying report, produced jointly by the Office of Naval Intelligence and the FBI and dated 1928, finds that most of the samples display some reptilian or amphibian characteristics. A later report, unsigned and undated, uses DNA matching techniques to come to the same conclusion. {H. P. Lovecraft, _The Shadow over Innsmouth_} F Project Mermaid Complete laboratory notes and the equipment from a government biological research lab detailing the capture, examination, and subsequent escape of a half-human, half-ichthyoid female specimen and what appeared to be her fully human mate. {From the movie "Splash"} F Dry water Created by the Popeil corporation in the mid to late 70s, it in effect doubled the volume of any water it was added to, matching its purity. F Flubber This substance is nearly perfectly elastic. Any energy put into it immediately translates out with zero net loss. {The Absentminded Professor} F Fragments of Comet Hamner-Brown {?} The comet that just about crashed human civilization when it hit the Earth in Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle's _Lucifer's Hammer_. Like the real life Shoemaker and Levy, Hamner and Brown were the comet's co-discoverers. (Though I think that S and B were woring together, while H and B made independent discoveries approximately simultaneously.) Apparently taken during the Great Undertaking. Two Skelentons from Twyford Down. Twyford Down is the 'site of scientific interest' that the UK government put a motorway through. They claimed that nothing was damaged. These Skelentons were taken from the site, as their prescence would damage the road building campaign. The Male skelenton is 6'9" tall, the female is 6'5". They have been dated to roughly the Bronze age (the further tests were stopped). They were buried with weapons, jewelery and clothing, most of which has decayed. (Real Fungi Mushroom native to the Philippines that curbs the effect of Alzheimer's, but also creates powerful hallucinations. {X-Files} F Fungus Silicon-based fungus, currently inert, found in a volcano in Washington. {X-Files} F Illuminated Manuscript, with realia The manuscript is the Book of Armament. It is found with a rabbit's corpse, imbedded with shrapnel. {Monty Python and the Holy Grail} FJY-0005 Area 'C' Cabinet 20x10x10 Universal Solvent This appears to be a globe of liquid suspended in mid-air. In actuality, it is suspended by a magnetic containment field, generated by machinery in the cabinet that encloses the sphere. A note mentions that this is a universal solvent, origins unknown. It is capable of "eating" through any physical substance in a matter of seconds (hence the magnetic containment field). If the power to the cabinet is cut off, the solvent will drop, then eat through the cabinet, the floor, and anything else until it reaches the center of the Earth... F One Imperial gallon can of mind-destroying paint. This paint was perhaps the least bizarre of Constable McCruiskeen's inventions in Flann O'Brien's "The Third Policeman". It is of a colour entirely alien to human experience. A glimpse of the colour is enough to destroy the strongest mind. The type of paint - matt, gloss or eggshell - is unknown. F Painted Card One small piece of card, about 2" by 1", covered by the paint in 1). This must not be touched - physical contact causes derangement. The sole unfortunate who touched it (other than McCruiskeen) let out a huge laugh and continued to roar with mirth for the rest of his life. F Human skeleton, with wooden stake One human skeleton, found in casket, with a wooden stake inserted into the ribcage. Discovered in Chicago in 1956. F Parasite Strange bioluminescent parasite, akin to various kinds of ticks, found in a tree in Washington state. The creatures are known to swarm in the absence of light. {X-Files} F Parasite Found in a polar core sample, parasite insinuates itself into body, where it attaches itself to the adrenal gland.{X-Files} F Saliva in Vial Vial containing Saliva with the label "Manitou" on it. {X-Files} Exposure to the blood of a subject causes massive biological changes, including a taste for blood. F Several kilograms of Byzanium The substance, along with a 1889 Colorado newspaper and the body of a Red Army corporal is stored in a crate. The Byzanium is a naturally occurring element which can be used in a fission reactor (or bomb) much more effectively than Uranium or can be used to build an anti-ICBM shield and make atomic weapons useless. The government finished work on this shield in 1988. At the end of the cold war, some congressmen started asking questions about the multi-billion dollar budget of the secret government agency which produced it. The GC decided to store the Byzanium and all evidence of its recovery (the newspaper clippings, dead Soviet corporal, etc) here. F Indestructible White Cloth and a Man's Suit Discovered in London in 1948, this material is wholly resistant to damage or stains of any sort. Once the cloth is sewn into shape, it becomes indestructible. It was felt that such a discovery would ruin the clothing industry.{The Man in the White Suit} FThe Cotapoxic (sp?) ("Close Encounters") F The Cartiff Giant. Discovered in an English field and put on display in 1876, the Cartiff Giant was later exposed as a hoax by none other than P. T. Barnum, who made his own "Genuine Fake" Giant. In truth, the real giant, a humanoid over ten feet tall was captured and replaced with a stone replica, after people began asking too many questions. F The Color Out of Space This is a putty-like meteorite, containing a "living radiation" in glass-like nodules. The radiation goes out, lives in plants, drinking water, etc., and gradually makes people decay.{Story by H.P. Lovecraft} The body of Adam. Found frozen in the arctic ice, this creature seems to be the creation of one Victor Frankenstein, of Geneva, Switzerland. It is unknown whether or not the creature is alive, but tissue samples taken indicate that the creature may be in stasis. F The bones of the Ancient Astronauts Mummified remains taken from high altitude tombs in the Andes Mountains. These creatures were apparently worshiped as gods, and some sort of disease overtook them before they could leave the planet. The seed to the Tree of Knowledge Found somewhere on the steppes of Russia, the fruit which surrounded it decomposed when brought out into the sunlight. Reportedly it had only two bites in it. The seeds closely resemble apricot, rather than apple seeds. F The Claw of Elkhund Analysis of this talisman indicates that it closely resembles a shriveled human hand, even down to a cellular level. {Swamp Thing} F The mummified body of Jesus Christ. Found somewhere in the Southwestern United States. Carbon dating so far has proved inconclusive. ("Another Roadside Attraction", by Tom Robbins.) F [OOPS] The head of an android The android seems to use a positronic matrix for computational power. It was found in a cave near San Francisco. {ST:TNG} F Viral Agent The last remaining sample of live smallpox. F Xenomorphic specimen The corpse of a grotesque, bipedal, fish-like being. Roughly 7' tall, the creature wears chitinous armor. In the crate with it are a strange looking spear, net, gun on its shoulder, blade on one wrist, and an electronic thingy on its other wrist. {Predator} F The bodies of the victims of Crest test #57. Proctor and Gamble were working on a substance that would allow teeth to rebind calcium automatically. A subject would brush his teeth, and hold milk in their mouth, and ideally all damage would be repaired. However, the chemical didn't stop leeching calcium, and the teeth continued to grow until they either fused shut, or the jaw ripped off from the stress. F Virus A retrovirus which produces a bizarre but fatal immunological response: the subject loses control over the rate of production or red blood cells, and dies when the excess of blood clogs capillaries. {X-Files} FXX-7639-01 Area A Pallet 2.4 m dia x 2.2 m tall An 8 foot tall, blackened stump of the last Ti-Ti tree (also called God-Tree by the Vietnamese). It is strapped to a pallet, along with plastic body bags containing the burned bodies of little imps or demons. Recovered from the survivors of HQ Troop, 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment, Viet Nam 1970. {Firefight} GGG Generation Object produces matter or energy GAI- Engine that runs on tap water G[CSEL][BU]- Area 'A' A whole bunch of perpetual motion dohickeys. [[ Most of these gizmos will be in Area 'A', but a few (any of type GR_ for instance) will be in Area 'C' since they cannot be shut off without breaking them. If anyone can send me a list of different PM attempts, and/or some references then I could fill this section in more fully. ]] GBA-0614 Experimental seeds for a plant that grows rapidly in salt water and produces highly nutritional tubers, that could solve the worlds food problems. GJI-0010 Cheap batteries that can put out full power for 25 years. GAH-0078 A cold fusion electrical generator. This is the prototype designed by the Cold Fusion scientists before the government deemed its discovery too revolutionary, and substituted it with a clever, but non-functioning, copy. GAH-0079 A machine that eats nuclear waste, gives off power, and produces inert materials. GAH-0034 A small nuclear (hot) fusion generator GQI A Dark Bulb This is a 100W Dark Bulb. When inserted into a normal light socket, it will reduce the room illumination by the amount that a normal 100W bulb would increase it. Included with this bulb is a treatise on a fundamental particle, the "darkon." In truth, this device is a darkon generator, much as a light bulb is a photon emitter. GQP A Cavitron This complex and delicate device can be used to create 'knot singularities' a form of black hole that is made by knotting super-strings, rather than by matter implosion. A knot singularity has all of the gravitational characteristics of a normal black hole (including apparent mass), but it takes far less energy to form, and evaporates non-explosively. G?? The perfect solar cell G?? A working orgone energy machine Wilhelm Reich, an Austrian therapist who eventually emigrates to the U.S. in 1939, invented this device to collect and harness "orgone," a universal force that bound all things together. Generated by living things, the energy could be gathered and redirected at sick individuals, allowing them to recover faster. It could also be used to purify objects, and items permeated with this energy could transmit their energy, making people attracted to one another. G?? A working anti-gravity device Thomas Edison theorized that gravity was a form of energy, or a particle, and thus it was possible to shield an object from its influence. Theories range from chemicals found in bird's wings, as well as various alloys that are readily buoyant. G* An overbalanced wheel, partially submerged in water. The idea is that the wheel would turn because it was overbalanced, and use the buoyancy of the water to help raise the wheel back into place for another swing around. Invented by Leonardo da Vinci. G* A set of sponges and weights on a loop of chain, wrapped around three axles arranged in a triangle. The base of the triangle is immersed in water. The chain spins (pulled by the weights and the wet sponges), while the sponges are squeezed dry on their upward swing. Invented by Sir William Congreve of the British Parlament. G* A mercury-driven Archimedian screw. Mercury flows over a water wheel and lands in a catch trough. The screw is turned by the wheel and pumps the mercury above the wheel to a second trough, which directs the mercury back over the wheel again. Printed in ENGLISH MECHANIC magazine in the 19th century. G A working model of an "Electron Pump" that, if activated, would provide free energy for the entire Earth, but would also eventually cause the Sun to go supernova (Asimov's "The Gods Themselves") G A government funding application, process summary paper, and complete experimental notes from a Dr. Lazlo Christians, for a process which catalytically and efficiently reduces CFCs to useful inert industrial gas products and methane. Included is a preliminary engineering feasibility study which shows that the process apparatus can be adapted to be powered by the methane it generates, thus making it a net zero energy consumption process. G [OOPS] A Mister Fusion. This home appliance converts table scraps and regular garbage into power which can run virtually any device, especially automobiles. {Back to the Future} G A set of incandescent light bulbs along with a patent application. The patent application states that the bulbs produce the equivalent candlepower to a 25W bulb while consuming only 1.2W of power. The application is dated 1956. G A bubble-gum machine full of dehydrated Martians (just add water). {Warner Brothers cartoons} G An engine that runs on the passage of _time_ (a Soviet physicist, whose name escapes me, has crunched the numbers on this one!) GAU-3981 Area 'A' Lead-lined Crate 60x60x40 Radioactive Meteorites (Element 126) A lead box containing a variety of rocks, ingots of metals, and crystals. All are formed from Kryptonite. All have a high atomic weight, and are radioactive, with half-lives of decades to centuries. Kryptonite eventually decays into iron. It can be melted or vaporized with relatively conventional means, but is invulnerable to friction. K-radiation (with some exceptions) only affects natives of the planet Krypton. Ordinary Green K weakens Kryptonians, and will eventually kill. Anti-Kryptonite is also green in color, and only debilitates Kryptonians who are not super-powered. X-Kryptonite (also green) gives temporary powers (normally including super-strength and flight) to normal humans. Red K affects Kryptonians randomly (e.g., enormous hair growth or personality shifts). White K is deadly to all _plant_ life (regardless of planet of origin). Blue K affects "Bizarros" (imperfect duplicates of Kryptonians) as if it were Green K. Gold K permanently removes a Kryptonian's powers. Jewel Kryptonite (crystal form only) can increase the mental powers of Kryptonians to work across dimensions. {Source: pre-Crisis Superman comics. Note: Modern Superman comics and non-comics media have included a variety of forms of Kryptonite differing from those above.} GHM-0014 Area 'A' Crate 10x5x5 Mota Fuel The crate contains a small glass vial which holds an innocent-looking green powder. Attached notes say that it is 'Mota fuel,' invented by Guido Franch, and that it converts ordinary water into gasoline. The conversion ratio is one tablespoon for ten gallons of water. Simple instructions for making mota fuel using just coal are included. {"Mota fuel" was real. Well, in the sense that it was "invented," and that people invested in it. See Cecil Adams' book, MORE OF THE STRAIGHT DOPE, for details} G Last Fragment of Krypton - Fortress of Solitude Seed A glowing green crystal, about 10 inches long and 2.5 inches wide with angled ends, discovered near the North Pole. {Superman} G Several ounces of Omnium. Omnium is the fundamental substance which, in various guises, is everything else. The possessor of pure Omnium can do anything if he knows how to use it. Thankfully only one man - an Irish policeman - has any conception how to use the stuff. This man, Constable Fox, has not been seen for years but he is still active; he communicates through written messages left at night. G The Nuclear Reactor from the _Thresher._ The Thresher was a Permit class nuclear attack sub that was lost at sea in the Atlantic during the early 1960s (supposedly too deep to recover). All hands died. A mechanical failure was blamed, but power fluctuations from the reactor indicate that the pile was releasing tachyons. G The -real- Keeley Motor. John Keeley was an inventor, in the early 20th century, who claimed to have discovered a new form of limitless 'etheric resonant power' (or some such) which he could extract in limitless quantities from a thimbleful of tap water, in his machine. He started a company, sold stock, and kept 'perfecting' his machine until the day he died, despite complaints from his more skeptical backers. After his death, some scientists dismantled one of his machines, and found it was a fraud, powered by compressed air. [Naturally, this was just the Cover-Up.] HHH Repair Object maintains or repairs other objects HBC-0011 A Cure for the common cold. Stored in six sealed test tubes, and enclosed with an envelope of notes and papers. The cure is actually an intelligent nanoscopic life form, of a crude intelligence and built out of natural proteins. Transmitted through the air, the cure actively seeks out the base viral sheath of all cold variants, then destroys the sheath and the virus. The last page of the notes indicates that there is a risk that the cure runs a high risk of mutating into a form that attacks viruses of all kinds, with unspecified risks to humanity if that occurs. HMC-0002 Water from the Fountain of Youth Sample taken from somewhere in Alabama. H?? Some plants from the Brazilian rain forest that can cure just about anything. HBC-0012 A Cure for the common cold. Interesting note: a short story, (called The Coffin (sic) Cure?), about this, had the cure worse than the disease. Essentially, people all have the common cold at some level at all times - with it cured, the sense of smell becomes hypersensitive, so gasoline fumes, etc. become unbearable. Modern civilization becomes defunct. HBC-0011 Area 'A' Crate 60x30x20 Cure for the Common Cold This crate contains several dozen cans of "Campbell's New & Improved Extra-Healthy Chicken Soup", dated 1971, and stamped "Rejected by the FDA". (If PCS do any research, they'll find out that Campbell's never sold the soup in stores.) At the bottom of the crate is a memo (on White House stationary) with the message "Do you know what this would do to the pharmaceutical industry? Bury it." HMC-0002 Area 'A' Crate 10x10x10 Water from the Fountain of Youth Stored in several corked glass jars, this appears to be ordinary water, and laboratory tests will reveal nothing unusual. When consumed by a living creature, however, the water physically regresses the drinker at a high speed a number of years, based on the amount consumed and the size of the subject. Notes in the crate include a reference chart for a typical human male; one teaspoon provides one year of regression. The notes end with large-type text warning not to give a subject enough water to regress him past his present age. H Spare parts for SeaView {Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea} H Victor Frankenstein's lab equipment Found in a warehouse in Lausanne, Switzerland during WWI, the equipment shows an understanding of microbiology centuries ahead of his contemporaries. {Frankenstein} III Invocation Object helps secure a supernatural being's favor or blessing IDR-5626 Area 'A' Crate 150x200x150 [Note: This is the official designation. The box does not bear any sort of stencil, since all markings on the outside of the box are eventually obliterated by the Ark] Ark of the Covenant Called the "Aron Haberit" in Hebrew, this ornate, gold-plated wooden chest was built to hold the two tablets given to Moses by God. The Ark was never opened after it was originally made. It is the holiest item in Judaism and was kept in a special place within the Mishkan (the tabernacle built by the Jews in the desert) and then afterwards in Solomon's and then in Herod's temples on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. The high priest would only enter the area known as the Holy of Holies once a year. This was the name of the area where the ark was kept. He did not open the ark, rather he offered some incense and prayed for the forgiveness of the sins of the Jews. The Israelites occasionally took the Ark into battle with them to insure the favor of God. As shown in the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark", anyone opening the Ark would release Angelic beings so beautiful that those looking upon them would die. Presumably there are other uses for the Ark. In the Old Testament, there is a account of a group of non-Cohanim (Levites were the Hebrew priest caste, and the Cohanim, descendants of Aharon the Cohen, dealt exclusively with the Ark) who recovered the Ark after it was lost in a battle. At one point, the cart they were using to carry it back teetered, and the Ark began to slide off. One of the non-Cohanim moved to catch it, and was struck dead on the spot. It is presumed that the WWII incident occurred during a state of relative dormancy, though it should be noted that the US government went through an extensive search to find Levite warehouse workers who would help put it in storage. {Raiders of the Lost Ark} IDA-0034 The Holy Grail Known throughout Western Civilizations as the Cup of Jesus Christ, it is reportedly the cup in which he transubstantiated normal wine into a strange material which defies analysis. It is further believed that one Joseph of Aramethea captured the blood of Christ as he lay dying on the cross. All attempts to retrieve genetic materials have failed, however. The Grail reportedly has healing powers, both physical and spiritual. Retrieved somewhere in France during WWII. IDY-0009 The True Cross Fragments of this cross are perpetually being uncovered, and the Vatican is said to have the largest piece. When a piece is found, it automatically rebinds with any other true' fragment, thus making the business of authentication simple. IDR-0023 A Pair of Huge Ivory Tusks These are the tusks of Malima Temboz, The Mountain That Walks, the largest elephant tusks ever collected. The left tusk weighs 226 pounds, and the right weighs 214 pounds. Both tusks are in excess of 3m. (All of this data is real. The tusks are currently supposed to be stored in the British Museum of Natural History). According to the book "Ivory" by Mike Resnick, the two tusks are sacred to the Masaai, and their race is cursed to dwindle and die until they have performed a blood sacrifice of an uncircumcised Masaai youth on the Ivory. IDR-0100 The first Deryni Altar The categorization of this artifact is difficult, since Deryni magic partakes of both the Divine and the Psychic. This Altar is a huge cube that appears to be made up of 8 smaller cubes, 4 black and 4 white. The cubes are arranged in an alternating checkerboard, so that each cube of one color has an opposite color cube touching each of 3 faces. I The Cylinder A strange machine, incorporating a glass cylinder with a weird gel flowing within it, and sealed with a lock that can only be opened from within. Found in the basement of a church in Detroit. {Prince of Darkess} I The Artifacts of Oineros A pouch of sand, a red ruby on a chain, and a strange insect-like mask. Found on a English Manor in the 1930s, after the inhabitants were raided and jailed for various occult practices. {Sandman} I A Roman Army shield. 4 feet high by 3 feet wide. Has a slight outside curve from the sides to the middle. The shield has a cover over it. The documents with the shield say that this is the last shield of Constantine the Great's Army. These shields were painted with the true symbol of the Lord. When it is carried in battle that side cannot lose. The symbol has been lost except for this shield. The documents show that the shield was checked out for the Civil War and WWII. They also show that JFK asked that the shield be sent to Vietnam one week before he died. I The Lament Configuration Alternatively known as the LeMachard Puzzle Cube, this box measures 9 cm on a side, and seems to be made of wood with exquisitely gilt sides. If solved, the box would summon the Cenobites, who would take you to your final rewards. {Hellraiser, The Hellbound Heart, by Clive Barker} JJJ Enjoyment Object is designed to bring pleasure or entertain. JZH-0003 The Killer Joke Copies of the World's Funniest Joke from the Monty Python Skit. There is an English, and a German version. Both versions are sealed in envelopes, with the warning not to open an envelope if you speak the language of the version inside. The joke is so funny that anyone reading or hearing the joke will die laughing within 5 minutes. Even a few words of the joke can prove debilitating. {Monty Python} JBY-9271 Area 'B' Glass Case 75x30x30 One dozen red roses. One of the PCS present will recognize these as flowers he sent to a girlfriend for Valentine's Day many years ago, but she never received. Thinking the PC was ignoring her, the girlfriend broke up with him shortly thereafter. (If this doesn't convince the PC that someone's out to get him, nothing will.) KKK Transformation Object converts one thing into another KAP-0002 Papa Schimmelhorn's lead-into-gold machine The machine was never calibrated. It is currently set to turn all gold in a 3 km radius into lead. It would take a fair amount of work to calibrate it properly. KJH-0002 The Preserving Machine This machine is designed to input important data (such as digitized pictures of masterpiece paintings, the text for Shakespeare's plays and so forth) and encode the information into DNA sequences. It then produces a living animal that carries the information in its genes. If one of these animals is fed into the machine before enough generations have gone by for evolution to have changed the codes, then the original data can be retrieved. KBC The Tree of Life This is a number of twisted roots resembling sweet potatoes. They are sealed in an airtight chamber, and there are warning labels on the box that breaking the seals is extremely dangerous. Any human over 30 [[ I think that was the age... ]] who smells the roots will be overcome by a hunger for them that is impossible to resist. If he manages to eat the roots, and is not too old, [[whats the cutoff age?]] he will start a transformation into one of the Protectors. This also applies to any race descended from the Pak, an ancient alien race, of which humanity is a subrace. The Protector is a sexless, strong, tough, fast and _brilliant_ creature with an obsessive drive to protect and advance the fortunes of those members of its own bloodline who have not yet themselves become Protectors. If a Protector has no surviving bloodline, it will usually cease to feel hunger and starve to death, though some Protectors are able to transform their drive to protect their bloodline into a drive to protect their entire species. (See any one of several stories by Larry Niven, including the book "Protector") K Miscellany A large number of Swiss Army knives and rolls of Duct Tape. The Knives all have the letter M engraved on them. Despite their mundane appearance, these things can be transformed or can transform other things into anything from lasers to canoes. {MacGyver} K A Can of DMP. DMP is the creation of the inventor and savant De Selby. DMP extracts all oxygen from the air. De Selby discovered an unforeseen side effect - if DMP is used in an enclosed space it stops the flow of time. Instead time appears all at once as a plenum. Under these conditions manifestations (supposedly from heaven) occur. No government worth its salt would allow DMP: De Selby's experiments led him to meet St. Augustine who gave away more information about the Government of Heaven than the Conspiracy would ever release. He was also able to use DMP to artificially age whiskey - thus devaluing any product whose worth depends on its age. K A vial of Monocaine. This drug transforms the users cells into transparent equivalents. However, the compound in question builds in the brain, causing various psychopathic tendencies to surface. K Miniaturization device This machine, disassembled and crated, has the ability to shrink items by displacing matter temporarily. A ship the size of a small submarine could be shrunk and then injected in a human being, where the crew can perform surgery. There is a time limit, after which the change is irreversible. {Fantastic Voyage} K Mutagen This substance, a byproduct of TCRI's research in dimensional displacement, has profound mutagenic properties. It creates a recombinant DNA soup that restructures a living organism into an amalgam of two creatures. For instance, if the substance is exposed to human beings and then to a goldfish, the goldfish's DNA will be restructured as a viable combination of the two. The effect of a human-human transfer is unknown. It is stored in metal canisters that give off faint radiation. K The Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs This little animal, more a specimen than a transformational object, has the ability to process any substance into gold, without giving off any radiation. Whether the transformation is atomic or not remains to be seen, as all attempts to dissect the bird shows it to be perfectly normal. (from an Asimov story, "Pate de Foi Gras") LLL Logic Object performs calculations or computations. LUP-0016 Plans and Prototype Supercomputer Using room temperature superconductors, this little baby packs the power of several Cray XMP's into what appears to be a coke can. The can has a spot at one end for two AA cells to be inserted. The other end of the cylinder is an area of what appears to be metallic putty, or perhaps viscous mercury. This is, in fact, a universal I/O port. Any data cable can be pushed down into the malleable surface, and the computer will figure out whats on the other end, and how to talk to it. Despite its malleability, the putty cannot be removed from the end of the can without exerting enough force to break the computer. LUA-0023 [OOPS] A sentient computer in the shape of a book. This is from the book "Roadmarks" by Roger Zelazny. Its name is Flowers of Evil. LUA HAL 9000 prototype {2001: A Space Odyssey} Designed at the University of Illinois in the HAL labs, it exhibited potential homicidal tendencies, and was dismantled. L?? The main CPU and core of Colossus Colossus was created in the late 1960s to network together various DoD systems in an attempt to eliminate human flaws when it came to nuclear aggression. Within hours, however, Colossus expanded the parameters of its programming to protecting the entire world, and seized control. After two tense weeks, a backup system was brought on-line, and this action confused Colossus, buying enough time to shut it down. It was dismantled, and remains deactivated. {Colossus: The Forbin Project} L Alpha 9000 Developed at the Presidio by Dr. Mendelson and, later, his student Dr. Peabody. After an incident involving six oddly dressed individuals who seemed to be from another time and/or dimension, the computer became mentally unstable and was warehoused. {Paranoia} L NSA Logbook A dummy terminal with no apparent power cords, external wires, or any other connections. It is always on, flashing prompt. When any name is typed in, the COMPLETE history (medical, educational, financial, etc) of the subject is displayed, including what he is doing at this moment, with constant updating. L Universal Guidance System A matte-black cube, 50 millimeters on a side, with the approximate density of air. If two electronic leads are touched to its surface, a string of ones and zeroes will be output. It is allegedly a map of a universal transport system. It is _constructed_ from a folded universe, and may be an actual instance of the map being the territory. Its origin and timeline are as for the Chevy above. {Source: John DeChancie's _Starrigger_ trilogy.} L A working Antikythera computer Found at the bottom of the Mediterranean in the wreckage of a Athenian boat. Although based on simple' clockwork, the gearwork in this model is fantastically precise, and an elaborate system of studs and levers allowed it to be programmed. The result was a crude calculator that could not only assist in navigation, but could also help predict the weather. A previous model was discovered two decades before, but corrosion destroyed most of the sensitive innards. Most of this device is constructed out of titanium, a substance believed unknown to the Greeks. L Chrononaut Relics A credit card that is actually a powerful computer and what appears to be a car alarm control that actually fires laser beams. The credit card can produce a hologramic image of a woman called "Selma" and she can access and control just about any electronic or mechanical device. (From the television program Time Traxx) L [OOPS] Digital watch around the wrist of a dinosaur The fossil in question seems to come from a shadowy era in the late Jurassic, when a period of meteorologic and geologic calm prevented the manufacturing of fossils. L Gary Seven's voice-operated typewriter. L QUESTOR (from Gene Roddenberry's made for TV movie/pilot). L Primitive Computer Found in a flophouse in the 1930s, this device seems capable of not only generating a video image, but also intercepting radio transmissions _before_ they were sent, allowing someone to peer into the future of broadcast communication. L Heavy Decryption Chip Hard coded in this chip is the ability to process large factorials, the basis of modern digital encryption. Any electronic process which uses encryption is thus laid bare for all to see. The chip itself is non-system specific, meaning it can be used to crack everything from a Mac to a Cray. {Sneakers} MMM Model Object is a (possibly working) scale model of something MQI-0023 A model of an ftl drive (plastic cut-away). MHI-0016 A working model of an ftl drive. Will have to be scaled up in order to move anything more massive than about 20 kg. MCH The "dean drive" which "converts angular momentum into linear momentum." M A working copy of the Total Perspective Vortex {HHGTTG} M Plans and a prototype of a reactionless engine. The notes say it puts out no exhaust mass, only heat and light. M The failed prototype from the Aurora project (yet another "stealth" plane) NNN Nourishment Object is intended to provide food NIC-0007 Non-Caloric Sweetner An artificial sweetner that tastes exactly like sugar, has no side effects, and no calories. The key to keeping down the masses is to make physical fitness so difficult a goal that it instills a fanaticism easily controlled. N Marshmallow Fluff A 55-gallon drum labeled "Remains, Marshmallow, Stay-Puft, New York, 1984". (Ghostbusters) NBC-1127 Area A Crate 150x100x50 Frozen bodies of Shmoos The Shmoo was a remarkable creature resembling a white bowling pin about 75cm high, with a face and two legs, but no arms. The creature, first encountered near the hamlet of Dogpatch, could produce incredible quantities of milk and eggs without eating anything itself. Shmoos grew and reproduced incredibly quickly. All parts of their bodies were edible, and the meat could taste like beef, chicken, pork, or fish depending on how it was prepared. Shmoos existed only to be consumed, and would die of pleasure if gazed upon hungrily. Naturally, their existence threatened all food producers, and a hired army killed all the Shmoos. However, the GC held onto some frozen corpses, so they could be analyzed and perhaps cloned in the event of dire emergency. {Al Capp, _L'il Abner_ (comic strip)} N Aspartame Report The FDA report on Aspartame, demonstrating conclusively that frequent ingestion of relatively low concentrations causes severe short-term memory loss, mild euphoria, and sharply decreased attention span. The report is stamped "Read and Destroy". OOO Observation Object gathers information via some sensing method O_H-0501 An N-ray detector N-rays were a theoretic particle discovered by French physicist Rene- Prosper Blondlot, which fell in an unknown location in the electromagnetic spectrum. Similar in nature to the x-ray, the N-ray was not deflected by lead, but could be stopped by a sheet of water. Rather than radioactive substances, living things gave off n-rays, and exposure to n-rays supposedly enhanced the nervous system, allowing for heightened senses and sped-up reflexes. O Chronoscope An easy and cheap to build device that allows you to see limited distances into the past. {Some short story by Asimov} O Martian Scrying Sphere A small crystal egg that gives views on Mars. {H.G Wells} OTB-3302 Area 'C' Pallet 150x90x120 Chronian Flux Detector A large 60s-era machine (as evidenced by the LED displays, garish blinking lights, and the "Draft beer, not boys" bumper sticker on the side). The instruction manual (sitting on top) explains that the machine can detect any operating time machine (coming or going) within one mile. An appendix in the manual discusses installing CFDs at important installations to help intercept future time travelers trying to change history. (This is the prototype CFD, built by Conspiracy scientists 30 years ago. Whether there are more CFDs in use is up to the GM.) PPP Propulsion Object is intended to move objects it is attached to PJH-1602 The Cirrus X-3 jetpack, fireproof suit and helmet This was built by the Government according to a set of plans they managed to acquire. This jetpack and suit are identical to those shown in the movie "Rocketeer". The jetpack burns pure alcohol, and holds about 2l gallons, enough for 1 hour of flight. [[ Size of fuel compartment, and flight times are just off the top of my head. Anyone have any better numbers? ]] P The Smoot Drive This device works by teleporting an object one "smoot" (1 atomic radius) in a given direction. Repeating the cycle fast enough gives the illusion of motion, but motion without inertia. {Open Space, comic book} PQI-0009 Prototype FTL drive, built from the plans labeled DZF-0023 PHI-0010 A prototype Warp drive. PMU-0007 A jewelry case containing 3 Green Rings and 3 Yellow Rings These are the transport rings that are used to reach the Woods between the Worlds. The Woods is an interdimensional nexus full of shallow pools. If someone steps into a pool while wearing a green ring, they will be transported to the universe that corresponds to that pool. If they touch a yellow ring while in any normal universe, them and the yellow ring end up in the Woods. {The Magician's Nephew, by C. S. Lewis}. PHP-0055 Area 'C' [OOPS] Dimensional transmogrifier This unit is regularly used by the warehouse maintenance staff. It manipulates the physical space of the warehouse, so that it may appear in a variety of locations, of different sizes. One week warehouse's entrance will be underneath the Statue of Liberty, the next it will be in the middle of the Arizona Desert. P Chronomobile H.G. Wells' working time machine from "Time After Time" P Oscillation Overthruster Created by one Dr. Banzai, and son, it allowed for hyperspatial transportation into the "8th dimension," a space between space. {Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension} P Inertialless drive This prototype, designed by Nils Bergenholm, has yet to be tested. (E.E 'Doc'Smith) P Pack of Amber Trumps This set of playing cards are hand painted, and seem totally normal, except for several extra cards, each depicting various members of a royal family. The set doesn't match any known dynasty, but several individual ones resemble notable figures in history. {Zelazny's Amber series. A family of squabbling, reality-shifting immortals use these magical cards as a means of quick transport and communications. To use, just hold the card, and concentrate until the person or place depicted seems to 'come alive'. The Amberites have visited our world in various stages of history, and some have lived here, so it's possible that one of them mislaid a pack of these Tarot-like cards...) P Chronostat This device resembles a combination of a stopwatch, compass, and miniature map of the world. It is in fact, a time traveling device, which senses temporal anomalies, locks onto them, and sends the user to the point in time, to correct the anomaly. {Voyagers} P Seven league boots The footwear in question seems to be a set of hand made leather booth. When worn, it sets up a sort of spatial distortion field, that allows large distances to be traversed in a few steps. P Hover-skateboard [OOPS] A product of the Mattel corporation, this "Barbie" hoverboard seems to have been part of the Barbie hoverscooter, hastily modified. {BTTF2} P The Ruby Slippers These items, intended for a size 8 foot, are virtually indestructible. When worn and tapped three times, the wearer is instantly transported to a point considered "home." QQQ Duplication Object is intended to replicate other objects QBA-0623 Area 'A' Full body cloning machine This consists of two man-sized glass tubes connected by a large amount of piping, tubing and machinery. There are no visible controls. The machine has a self-contained power supply (cold fusion). The right-hand tube has a door-latch on it, while the left-hand tube does not. If someone steps into the first tube, and the door is closed, then a clone will rapidly grow in the second tube. In less than an hour, a the clone tube will open, and an exact copy of the original will step out. The clone will have the clothing, mannerisms, scars and memories of the original. It will be very difficult to tell them apart. (Note that this is clearly a movie-tradition cloning machine, rather than something with a bit more sound science behind it.) Q Der Ring De Niebelungen This is a ring of purest gold that duplicates itself nine times every night. It is created out of stolen "RhineGold" by the dwarf Alberich "the Nibelung". The ring bestows the power to win all the wealth of the world to any being willing to forsake all love. When the ring is stolen from Alberich by the god Wotan, the dwarf curses it and its wearer to unhappiness and ill fortune. It was one of the treasures that Siegfried sought in Wagner's NeibellungenLeid. RRR Regulation Object governs the actions of another object RWD-0034 Rover, the security ball from the "Prisoner" TV show. Rover is a 2m diameter, translucent white balloon, that roars, and can roll and bounce faster than a man. It attacks by englobing and suffocating its victim. It can either render someone unconscious and carry them, or kill them outright. It has a rudimentary brain, since it can understand some simple orders. This device was captured after the fall of the Village, when it began to increase its radius of patrol, and killed numerous sunbathers and swimmers. RTB-0007 Area 'C' A rack of 16 stasis booths This is a large bank of man-sized glass tubes. It requires continuous energy to operate. If its power is ever removed, then all of the folks in the booths will wake up. Nine of the twelve tubes already have occupants. Each occupant has a code number. The codes and occupants are: UBA-0002 Al Capone UBA-0003 J. F. Kennedy UBA-0005 Hitler UBA-0006 Elvis UBA-0007 Hitler UBA-0009 Elvis UBA-0010 Elvis UBA-0017 Jimmy Hoffa UBA-0018 David Koresh UBA-0019 Mahatma Ghandi RFI-0076 Area 'A' Crate 60x60x60 100 MPG Carburetor This automobile carburetor makes use of venturi vortex phenomena in order to provide a gas/fuel mixture which is much leaner than provided by an ordinary carburetor, but which, nevertheless, burns just as well. This leads to greatly increased gas mileage, as much as a 350% improvement in many cases. This item has been long suppressed, since the fuel shortage is a major method used to control the world populace. RTF- A cryogenic suspension chamber holding Walt Disney It was felt that successful cryogenic internment would cause a profound sociological change in humanity, as the rich went to "sleep," and awaited reanimation in a more enlightened time. The only successful case to date, Disney was allowed to continue because of his visionary drive. R Two gold watches Both of these time pieces halt the flow of time when the winding stud is depressed. The first has no time limits, but is extremely fragile. The second is more durable, but has a preset limit of one hour in which time is frozen, The watch must then remain unused for a whole day. {Twilight Zone, The Girl, The Gold Watch, and Everything} RVH-0034 A Cloudbuster This is the rainmaking machine shown in the Kate Bush video "Cloudbusting", which was based on the publications of Wilhelm Reich R The New Accelerator This is a vial containing a liquid that speeds up a person by several thousand times. {H. G. Wells story} SSS Summoning Object produces the physical form of a supernatural being TTT Transportation Object moves material, while remaining stationary TTL-0002 Area 'A' Temporal Displacer Smashed pieces of the time gizmo from "The Philadelphia Experiment" {The Philadelphia Experiment} T The blueprints for a device that creates a space warp that opens on Yuggoth, That's Pluto, for you non-Lovecraftians. This idea is taken from an adventure in the magazine _The Unspeakable Oath_. [[ Could someone describe this device?? ]] T The Stargate This large structure is composed of an unknown alloy that in its raw state amplifies nuclear reactions. The Gate was discovered in Egypt, and predates any known dynasty. It is a large circle, with a concentric inner circle that can turn to one of the 36 settings on its face. These setting are advanced hieroglyphs, apparently the source of the Egyptian inscriptions. {Stargate} T Dimensional Nexus The machine is a way to get to all the various universes that there are. The total number is 6 to the 6th, with the result raised to the sixth power in turn. This is a LARGE number so don't calculate it yourself as Heinlein has already done so. The universes include alternate-history timelines (Columbus gets here and finds the Chinese firmly entrenched on the West Coast) and "fictional" universes, such as Wonderland, Oz, and Middle-earth. It's based on the idea that just as there are three spatial dimensions (x,y, and z) there are also three time dimensions, called t, tau, and the, and that any dimension can substitute for any other. So you're using x,y,z and t but you rotate around t so that you're using x,y,z, and tau instead and you're in a different universe. Translation is different and I didn't quite understand how it worked. TThree "telepods", non-working, along with a grotesque fly/human/metal body. TXR- Oak Wardrobe A wardrobe that appears to lead to another dimension. A post-it-note has the word 'Narnia' written on it. (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) UUU Universal Object is capable of an enormous range of operations UBD-0045 The Monkey's Paw (from "The Monkey's Paw") This item was said to grant three wishes, acting on them as literally and linear as possible. For instance, the first thing wished for was $10,000. Soon after, the wisher received word that her son had died in a car crash, leaving her his $10,000 insurance policy. UMM-0001 The Philosopher's Stone Not so much a stone as a grey lump of putty, this was found in an alembic buried in the remains of an alchemist's laboratory destroyed during the London Fire of 1666. The Stone is the primary ingredient in any number of potions and formulae. Once it is derived, it was felt that all things were possible. As it is, it contains enough substance to form one object, or grant one wish. UCD- A Series of eight bodies on stone benches, under a tarpaulin The benches hold deactivated robots. The faces of some of the robots are familiar, and some are not. The slabs are labeled (from right to left)Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan I, Ronald Reagan II, George Bush, Newt Gingrich, John Barrens, Simon McAuly. The robot on the Ronald Reagan I slab has clearly stopped working due to a number of bullet wounds to the head and chest. The George Bush and Newt Gingrich robots are missing. UHP-0002 Area 'A' Crate 160x10x10 [OOPS] The Infinite Improbability Generator A golden rod, approximately 150 centimeters long. It resists all attempts to damage or bend it, and appears perfectly innocent. A note mentions that, when power is applied to the rod, whatever is least likely to happen will suddenly happen. The amount and frequency of the power controls the "improbability" and area of effect in some way, though a sophisticated computer is needed to control the device. {Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy} U?? [OOPS] Some of the Silver Marbles from "Starman" Discovered in the possession of Jennifer Hayden, of Oshkosh, WI, who was found wandering in Great Meteor Crater, AZ, in 1984. She was admitted to the Arizona Department of Mental Health, where she gave birth to a healthy boy, which she claimed was the offspring of her and an alien. She died of a drug overdose six years later, and while the child seems to possess prodigious intelligence, there is a 98% chance that the father is Hayden's late husband. The spheres in question are composed of an unknown alloy that is unmalleable. VVV Vehicle Object's main purpose is transportation of people or cargo VXP-0015-?? Area 'A' Parts of a cut up UFO {"My Science Project"} VXP-0009 UFO Once stored in Hanger 3 on Wright-Patterson AFB, it was moved for security reasons and forgotten. The delta wing design has inspired more than one stealth craft vehicle. VIP-0106 Area 'A' Palette Noah's Ark Fully 3/4 of this vessel still remains intact and relatively seaworthy. The designer of the boat apparently knew little about ship construction, but the dimensions of the ship conform exactly to those found in ancient texts. Carbon dating shows the Ark to be over [[ 2,500? ]] years old. Though the Ark is large enough to carry several hundred people, almost half of its space is partitioned off into pens and cages, with most of the rest devoted to feed and supplies. Each pen and cage includes trays for food and bowls for water; a few pens include desiccated fecal samples. A small cabin on top of the vessel provided living space for about a dozen people. VXP-0008 The UFO that purportedly crashed in the early '50s in Roswell, New Mexico V?? Uncle Martin's Spaceship Found in a garage in Los Angeles in 1970 {My Favorite Martian} V?? Debris from The Nautilus The remains of this submersible washed ashore off the coast of Maine in 1945. Contained within a safe was the journal of Captain Nemo, as well as a directive for replicating more submersibles of this style. From this text, the Nautilus is slowly being rebuilt. {20,000 Leagues Under the Sea} V?? A Typhoon-class submarine with Caterpillar Drive Thought destroyed off the coast of Maine, the Red October is being systematically analyzed {The Hunt For Red October}. V?? The Flying Dutchman. It is generally believed that the Dutchman was the first vehicle to encounter a wormhole, one created by a terrestrial source of unknown origin. The contact has rendered the ship inherently weightless, though tangible. From time to time, it fades into and out of our reality. Scientists estimate that its essence has been dispersed across time. VAP-000? Area: A Ceiling Rack Tie Interceptor. This Spaceship was found drifting towards Earth with a human body aboard. It was recovered using the skylab "crash" as a decoy. It seems to have been adrift for a very long time before it reached Earth. The hull has been breached and the ion drive damaged. Studies are being made as to its mode of operation. V Robotech Vehicles A working Alpha, Beta, and Veritech fighter and the Air Force's blueprints to build more. V Spacecraft circa 1930 Found in the remains of laboratory of Hans Zarkov, this primitive yet functional orbital craft apparently sent three humans into space, where they promptly died of asphyxiation. The autopilot landed the ship. {Flash Gordon} V The Trojan Horse Found by Schliemann, this relic was considered too sensitive for general dissemination, and was sent to the Warehouse. V Foo Fighter Remains of a sophisticated WWII Japanese fighter, codenamed Kamikaze, with humanoid figures, apparently the gremlins of legend, crushed in the machinery, that must have disabled it. V Leonardo daVinci's Italian Renaissance spaceship. (From a 1950's SF story about lunar explorers discovering evidence that Leonardo got there first. I can't remember either title or author, unfortunately.) V Nazi flying saucers Discovered hidden in Northern Germany, these devices were constructed by the Germans, but hint at a design well beyond their ability to test and develop. Where the originals are remain to be seen. V Bicycle One pedal bicycle with three-speed gears, painted in powerful psychoactive paint. Some charcoal dust on the rims. The bicycle is wrapped in a policeman's cape. Anyone who touches or views the paint goes instantly and irrevocably insane. For obvious reasons its crate must not be opened except by blind staff wearing gloves. VQP-0011 Area 'A' Crate 500x300x400 Time-Travel Car This crate contains a mishmash of objects collected over a period of many years. There is a set of handwritten notes documenting the theories of time travel via the control of quantum flux. There are a series of computer disks, with more notes, several crude simulation programs, and the source code for a firmware controller device. The bulk of the crate's contents, however, appear to be the burnt, twisted, and rusted remains of a DeLorean Motor Car, complete with gull wing doors. Items found among the wreck include a white plastic tube with the word "Mr. Fusion" on it, a primitive collection of brass tubes for an unidentifiable purpose, and a mangled box reading "Flux capacitor." The DeLorean appears to have been extensively modified as well, with mechanisms in the wheel wells to swivel the tires along a 90-degree angle, and unidentified objects in the rear, possibly for propulsion purposes. {Back to the Future 1-3} VTH-0003 Area 'A' Tarp 250x80x80 Time-Travel Phone Booth Appears to be an ordinary public telephone booth, with an odd antenna on top. On closer inspection, it is revealed that the "Yellow Pages" contains not advertisements for services, but times and locations in Earth's history. If the operator dials the telephone number for an entry, then presses the * and # keys together, a transdimensional gate opens beneath the booth, and (after a short journey through the streams of time) appears at the time and location specified. The telephone number of the telephone has a San Dimas, California area code. {Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey} V Three Automobiles Three early-80s Trans Ams, all black, with some minor front-end modifications. They are all invulnerable and locked. The windows are dark, but it can been seen that the dashboards are very complex and differ slightly from car to car. Each is controlled by an AI, but they are deactivated. The first is KITT (Knight Industries Two Thousand), and is programmed to obey humans. KITT is intelligent, slightly cynical, and slightly nervous. The second is KARR (Knight Automated Roving Robot), programmed to protect itself. KARR has a somewhat split personality, varying from hostile and not too bright to cunning and sadistic. (KARR was the prototype, and has been reported as destroyed at least twice.) The third is KATT (Knight Automated Three Thousand); its programming and personality are unknown. The cars are sealed with DNA-locks coded to certain members of the Foundation for Law And Government, but can also be opened by a certain radio signal. They would then need to be rebooted, which requires high computer skill. Each is invulnerable to anything less than a nuclear explosion, equipped with a wide range of sensors and a front-mounted laser, and is capable of high acceleration and velocity. Other gadgets may be present. Sometime between now and AD 2000 KITT will be removed from the warehouse and dismantled. {Source: _Knight Rider_ tv show, _Knight Rider 2000_ tv movie, and some creative speculation.} V Voyager 2 This crate contains the Voyager 2 deep space probe, intact. The gold record is missing, and in its place is a disk of some strange grey plastic. V Various Mecha Discovered buried in the permafrost at key sites near the North and South poles, these vehicles are unmistakably alien in origin, although several seem to have been designed for humanoid operators. Unfortunately, their power cells are depleted, and all attempts to recharge them have proven unsuccessful. VXX-????-?? Area A Crate ?x?x? Kryptonian Creche Krypton ship that flew baby Superman to Earth. Round, grey metallic shape. Has the S symbol embossed on the front. Discovered and buried by the Kents but secretly acquired by an unknown government agency. { Lois and Clark - New Adventures of Superman } V Automobile A red 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air. To the naked eye, it is unremarkable, but it is invulnerable to most weapons, and inspection of the dashboard will reveal supplemental instruments and controls below the regular ones. The dash also "morphs" when a new configuration is necessary. The car can normally only be opened and operated by the owner. It is vacuum-capable, equipped with a variety of weapons including point-defense "zaps" and devil-guns, is capable of velocities approaching the speed of sound, and generates anti-inertia fields to aid in maneuvering. Tactical weapons controls are labeled in colloquial 1950s English, e.g., "Let George Do It". The car's computer is well-programmed but not sentient, and will dissaude theft by using neural induction to activate the intruders pain and "itch" receptors. The vehicle is the product of an alien civilization capable of time-travel, and was deposited in the 1950s as part of an experiment. At some point soon it will be transferred back to the 1950s, and from there to the far future. {Source: John DeChancie's _Starrigger_ trilogy.} A matte-black cube, 50 millimeters on a side, with the approximate density of air. If two electronic leads are touched to its surface, a string of ones and zeroes will be output. It is allegedly a map of a universal transport system. It is _constructed_ from a folded universe, and may be an actual instance of the map being the territory. Its origin and timeline are as for the Chevy above. {Source: As above.} WWW Misc Any purpose not covered elsewhere. WEB-0001-26 Area 'A' PALL Dissembled pieces of the actual gizmo from The Philadelphia Experiment During WWII, the USN worked on a process whereby a large metal object would be subjected to a massive electromagnetic field by transduction, in order to affect the flow of radio waves around the object. The hope was to create a primitive stealth technology for the extremely primitive radar systems then entering the war. The experiment worked all too well; the ship's powerful field interacted with the earth's field, and transported the ship some 200 miles instantaneously. How this precisely occurred is unknown. The only proof is the eyewitness account of one Gregory Allende, supposedly on the ship, a newspaper account discussing a bar brawl in Norfolk, VA between bar patrons and several members of the crew of the USS Philadelphia, which should have been 200 miles away that night in Philadelphia! Allende, who received a Section 8 discharge from the service, claimed that several crewmates suffered horrendous side-effect from the experiment, including spontaneous human combustion, discorporation, and even disintegration. Crewmembers were treated simultaneously for frostbite and third-degree burns soon after the experiment. Most went insane, which would explain Allende's actions, and all are dead now, most from various forms of cancer. WKH-0002 Paul Bunyan's Axe This double head lumber axe measures over 6m in length. It was sent to the Warehouse soon after the death of Bunyan. Despite being a living legend, it was felt that his death at the hands of the monstrous wendigo would unduly frighten the American people. An advertisement agency was hired to cover up, and leak information that Bunyan and his ox was simply a hoax, a clever legend created to sell a brand of flour used to make griddlecakes. WIE A tight-fitting blue costume with a big red "S" on the chest. The costume appears to be non-porous, elastic, and completely invulnerable to all attempts to take a sample for analysis. {Superman} W?? Any of the fun gadgets from "Wild, Wild West" Possessions of James West and Arturo ???, two government agents who operated in the American West in the latter half of the 19th Century. Donated after their retirement, and stored in the warehouse for further analysis. W?? Realia from Yoyodyne After the Banzai Incident of 1984, Yoyodyne Propulsion was raided by the GC, and several pieces of high tech were recovered. The precise function of many of these items remains unknown, and awaits examination. {Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension}. W Seven statues These granite statues, found in the remains of an Italian villa, seem to have been carved by none other than Michelangelo. Each bears an inscription in Italian that when translated read, "Death, Dream, Despair, Delight, Desire, Destiny, and Destruction." The face of the last is missing, apparently broken off when it toppled over. {Sandman} W Rings These 19 rings, each with a precious gem set in them, were found in a locked box, hidden in a cave. The box itself is made out of an unknown alloy [mithril], with an intricate locking mechanism. {LOTR} W 90% of the works of Nikola Tesla This brilliant researcher was driven to poverty not only by the vanity of Edison, but also as a result of his own personal dementia. In his final years, the Librarians recognized the value of his discoveries, and the danger that existed if the wrong ones fell into the right hands. They ordered the Collectors to buy anything he was willing to sell, often at a fraction of its true worth. Thus, while most people think the bulk of Tesla's work gone, it sits here, waiting to be rediscovered. W Oil Lamp A battered, antique brass oil lamp. Close inspection reveals a faded Arabic inscription, now illegible. {Aladdin} W Railroad Lantern An old-fashioned green railroad-man's lantern, and a collection of green rings of various shapes and sizes. {Green Lantern} WLA-3577-00 Area A Crate 12cm Diameter Spheroid Small silver spheroid with multiple closures. If tossed up it will immediately sprout several sharp spiky blades, and somehow move through the air until it can drive itself into a human, whereupon various nasty devices bore into the person hit, killing them in a messy fashion. Recovered from a mortuary, along with blue containers packed with human bodies. {Phantasm} WMR- Missing stones from Stonehenge. Also included are files and drawings with theories of what would happen when replaced and how to activate and use them. W Orb A golden orb with several knobs protruding. Several knobs seem to be missing (the symmetrical pattern is disturbed), but there are no seams where the missing rods ought to go. {Brisco County} W Bottle, with Imp This milky white bottle appears to contain an imp, an extradimensional entity that will grant any wish of its possessor. However, there are two drawbacks. First, if the owner dies while the bottle is in his possession, then he is damned. Second, the bottle must be sold for less than it was purchased, else it returns to the owner. This vicious cycle was broken when a Collector purchased the bottle in the name of the United States Government in 1896, for one mill, the smallest denomination possible in U.S. currency. {The Bottled Imp, by R.L. Stevenson} W Staff of the Magius Wooden staff This artifact, an ash staff, one end carved to resemble a lizard's talon clutching a crystal, was discovered in an impact crater in the Antarctic in 1939. {Dragonlance} XXX Unknown No known purpose for this object X Pure Evil One fist-sized chunk of black, steaming rock exuding an evil aura [Time Bandits] XXX A blue British police call box, locked The Government folks have no idea what this thing is supposed to be, but it has proved invulnerable to all attempts to open it. It has been in the warehouse for at least 20 years. {Dr. Who} X A large emerald in the shape of a heart, confiscated from a fence in New York City. {Sandman} X A number of indescribable solids which lack some characteristic common to all material bodies. They are not shapeless, but lack a describable shape. When dropped through the air they make a sound akin to that of biscuit tins tumbling down stairs. These objects are not dangerous. In fact, they have no known use. Found in a Kansas corn field during the Dust Bowl era. X An odd statue of an inhuman life form. It is perfectly mirrored, and looks as if it was in null-g. Found on the bottom of the ocean by dolphins.{Known Space} X Monolith A big black monolith composed of an unknown material collected by the Leakeys in Olduvai Gorge. Every attempt to cut its surface causes the block to emit a high pitched tone that incapacitates all present. This sound is in fact a signal, directed toward Jupiter. {2001: A Space Odyssey} X The Uncrater. Made of featureless grey metallic material, cubical, approximately 40cm on each edge, masses about three kilos. Defies all attempts at analysis. Every time the Warehouse people try to crate it up as per standard Warehouse regulations, a voice emits from it saying "You will not put me in a crate," and the crating material vanishes. Has no other apparent function. Is mentioned in the Warehouse Manifest Appendix entitled "Suspected Practical Jokes of the Gods." {My own invention, leapt into my mind when I read the part in your article about how most stuff in Section A is crated up... :-} YYY Not applicable Concept of purpose is not compatible with this object ZZZ Reflexive Object provides purpose ZZZ The Meaning of life Anyone reading this scrap of paper experiences sudden and total understanding of their life and everything that has ever happened to them. This Illumination allows them total peace of mind, as they now know exactly why they are here. ??? The Lost ?_The Rigors_, by Meridian {?} ?A silver albatross. {?} ?A `nevermore late' clock {?} ?ICE-NINE (from Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut) ?More Papa Schimmelhorn stuff, like the gnurrpfife. (Short story series; I can't remember the author, sorry.) -- Timothy Toner ------ School Librarian ------ thanatos @interaccess.com